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Archive for the ‘thinking things through’ Category

SEVENS & Eastmountainsouth Part 1 & 2

Posted in Growing Faith, Joy in the Journey, thinking things through on January 11, 2010| 4 Comments »

I wrote these notes on Facebook and thought I’d share them here for my family and friends who don’t share my Facebook addiciton. 🙂 I’ll be back here tomorrow with a post about how I save money at the grocery store.

Part 1

I stayed home with Pete while Benny, Max, and Zoe went to meet a few of our volunteers and our street friends for Supper on the Pearl tonight. I’ve been thinking about it all…the people who give of their time and money to make a meal and serve others, our friends on the streets who wouldn’t have had a hot meal tonight if it weren’t for our volunteers, and my children. What do they think of it all? Some days it feels overwhelming. Are we making the biggest difference we can? Is the smallness of what we do enough of an act of love for our street friends to experience grace and rest? Am I teaching our children gratefulness in a way that they will understand how blessed they really are? So many questions.

As I sat at my computer tonight, I turned on itunes and listened to my top 25 most played songs. When I reached the following song, it hit me – compassion and action are just two of the gifts I have to offer to my friends on the streets. I don’t need to dwell on my own feelings of inadequacy because it’s not about me, or my kids, our volunteers, or even our street friends. It’s about God and what HE can do with what we have and are willing to offer. It’s 5 loaves and 2 fish, multiplied for the hungry. And we’re all so very hungry. What seems like a meager lunch to me can become a feast for the masses with enough leftovers for another lunch. God can do that. I’ve seen it. I’ve experienced it!

While our street friends need food, they also hunger for love, being known, and relief from the hard times. Take a way the hunger for food, and our volunteers aren’t much different. My children? They don’t know hard times yet, but they will. And me? I’m just sitting here thinking, and this is a good thinking song. Listen to it on youtube:

Hard Times by Eastmountainsouth

Let us pause in life’s pleasures and count its many tears, while we all sup sorrow with the poor. There’s a song that will linger forever in our ears, oh, hard times come again no more.

‘Tis a song… a sigh of the weary, hard times… hard times come again no more. Many days you have lingered around my cabin door, oh… hard times come again no more.

While we seek mirth and beauty and music light and gay, there are frail ones fainting at the door. Though their voices are silent, their pleading looks will say, oh, hard times come again no more.

‘Tis a song… a sigh of the weary, hard times… hard times come again no more. Many days you have lingered around my cabin door, oh, hard times come again no more.

‘Tis a sigh that is wafted across the troubled wave, ’tis a wail that is heard upon the shore. ‘Tis a dirge that is murmured around the lowly grave, oh, hard times come again no more.

‘Tis a song…a sigh of the weary, hard times… hard times come again no more. Many days you have lingered around my cabin door,oh, hard times come again no more. Oh, hard times come again no more.

Part 2

I wrote the first note after everyone went to bed last night, and before Benny and I had a chance to talk through the evening. So this morning I told him about the note and explained what I had been feeling this week. He just smiled and began reassuring me that we are right where we’re supposed to be, and doing what God led us to do, then he told me a story.

Last night at Supper on the Pearl, several guys were thanking Benny for doing the food. He told them they were welcome, and one of them said “This is a lot better than picking food out of the trash or asking (begging) for people’s leftovers. Benny told him that’s why we do this; provide food so you don’t have to ask for it, sure, but also to offer dignity and value, and to invite them to be part of a meal. One of the men thanked him again and said, “Well we know who SEVENS is, and we have a lot of respect for you guys.”

I got a little teary and silently thanked God for the confirmation. Not just that He led us to feed the hungry, but to offer them dignity and value, and invite them to be a part of something. God answered my question. We make a difference.

Then at church this morning, my friend Karen got up to talk about the rich meaning behind communion and asked us to follow along as she read Matthew 9:9-13. My breath caught in my throat as I opened my Bible. When Karen began to read, I burst into tears. Not loudly, but the tears flowed freely down my face. My friend Paula was sitting next to me and she put her arm around me. I couldn’t control it and I had to get up and leave the service for a few minutes. A concerned and loving friend, Paula followed me to the bathroom not knowing that nothing was wrong. I was just having a Holy Spirit moment. You see, a few days ago, Ty, one of our TX teens who has participated in our summer program, sent me a message on Facebook:

“our youth group is doing this 40 day bible reading challenge and i read a couple of verses the other day that made me think of you and benny. It’s Matthew 9:9-13. cant wait to see yall at camp this summer”

Do you see what happened? I asked, and God answered. I was struggling with doubt and He sent a kid I love to tell me I’m where I’m supposed to be. And just in case I missed it the first time, he reminded me again during church through two of my best friends. And that would be wonderful if that were the end of the story, but God is God and He outdoes Himself.

As I was leaving my house this afternoon, I walked around my van to get in, and something caught my eye. I looked down and stared in disbelief at a heart shaped rock right in front of me. I had just walked that path an hour before and I swear it wasn’t there! For those of you that don’t know, heart rocks are one of mine and God’s love languages. He gives them to me, sometimes when I ask, and sometimes when I haven’t, obviously. I find them in the strangest places. Tearing up again, I picked up the rock and turned it over in my hand, then showed Max, whose face lit up. He totally gets my rock thing. I thanked God for the gift and told Him that I love Him too.

You can read about my rock thing here: https://nikinowell.wordpress.com/2007/08/06/my-rock-thing/

It’s time for bed and where as lastnight was one of questions, tonight I find myself overwhelmed by God’s love. Since I ended the last note with a song by Eastmountainsouth, I think it’s only appropriate to do the same with this one. This is the song I sang when I auditioned for the worship band. It’s also on my itunes Top 25 played list. I couldn’t find a youtube video I liked for the song, but I wanted you to hear it:

So Are You To Me…

As the music at the banquet, As the wine before the meal,

As the firelight in the night, So are you to me

As the ruby in the setting, As the fruit upon the tree,

As the wind blows over the plains, So are you to me

As the wind blows over the plains, So are you to me,

So are you to me

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Bumper Sticker Wisdom

Posted in thinking things through on January 19, 2009| 6 Comments »

I’m often amused by the bumper stickers I see plastered on cars of all shapes and colors.  And there’s hardly ever just one, after all, how do you narrow down your thoughts and ideologies into a single sentence?  I guess Facebook and Twitter are good practice for that.  I find stickers far more entertaining than church signs, but I get wary of the negativity of them both. Maybe I’m looking for something to make me laugh or at least smile instead of something that insults me or makes me roll my eyes in disgust.

While sitting at a red light yesterday, I saw one that made me think.  It read, “Some days all I want to be is a missing person.”    Now, we can all relate to that, can’t we?  Life is demanding and an uphill haul.  We have people, activities, and commitments pulling at us from every direction and we’re screaming on the inside to be left alone for just one minute so we can think straight.  “Relax” isn’t a normal word in our vocabulary, and we feel like we’re not enough, can’t do enough, and can’t be enough to be satisfactory.  It’s overwhelming.  Being a missing person, or at least absent from the rat race, sounds so appealing to some of us.

What if the bumper sticker had read, “Some days I feel like I am a missing person.”  That changes things a bit.  Maybe these are people who wish they had so much happening in their lives they would be stressed about slowing down and having some breathing room.  Are missing people actively sought after?  Maybe by their loved ones, or the people who are paid to find them, but by the general public?  Probably not.  Every time I walk into WalMart I scan the missing persons board, but that’s usually about as far as my actions take me.  Honestly, I’m looking to see if any of my friends on the streets are up there.

My life is so busy that I don’t take up the cause of “missing people” except for the ones that are already in my life.  I have a few of those.  I’m sure you do too.  They’re the lonely people who aren’t being sought after by their families, don’t have many friends, and are feeling unloved.  Depression and self-medication are commonplace.  If they had a bumper sticker on their car, it would read, “Life sucks, then you die.”  And what am I doing about it?  Am I loving these people?  Am I meeting them right where they are at or am I demanding they become more like me first?  That is one of those hard questions I ask myself on a regular basis. And while that’s an easy description of our friends on the streets, I’m not talking about them.  I’m talking about the people in my church, my neighborhood, my Friday school group, and my circle of friends.

Maybe I’m taking this whole bumper sticker thing way too seriously.  Maybe I’m not.  Maybe wisdom shows up in unexpected places and I have to just go with it.  If you were to create a sticker that would describe your thoughts and ideologies FOR TODAY, what would yours say? I think mine would say, “Life is in the questions.”  There’s more to this…

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Rest, Relaxation, and Girly Food…

Posted in Creativity, Growing Faith, Humor, Joy in the Journey, Prayer Requests, thinking things through on December 12, 2008| 5 Comments »

I’m on my way out the door for a long awaited 3 day renewal in the mountains.  Just me.  I have a feeling this will be my own little version of “The Shack”…maybe not quite so intense, but just as healing and sweet.  See you all back here next week. 🙂

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5 Ways blogging has affected my life

Posted in Random, thinking things through on September 22, 2008| 5 Comments »

A new world opened up to me when I began blogging back in 2004.  I suddenly had a simple to use forum to share my thoughts, beliefs, struggles, and victories with friends and family that lived all over the world.  It was like writing an open letter and people who were interested could stop by and read it whenever it was convenient for them and their schedule.  It opened communication lines with friends who were hard to connect with by phone because of different time zones, children’s bedtimes, and busy family calendars.  Blogging has literally changed my life.  So when my friend Bill emailed to challenge me to share 5 ways blogging has affected my life, I was glad to process that journey.  Here’s what I’ve come up with.

1.       I love to write.  I have always felt that I had a lot to say along with a deep desire to be heard.  By entering into the blogging world, I have achieved both.  Blogging has given me an outlet for processing my thoughts and sharing what God is doing in my life.  I don’t have enough time to call or write to everyone I love so we can think through things together AND keep up with my responsibilities and activities in life.  By having the freedom to drop by my favorite blogs when it’s convenient for me and by writing regular posts of my own, I’ve been able to be a part of the bigger conversation of faith and life around me.  Blogging is a great communication tool.

2.       Blogging has challenged me to be real.  It is so easy to become whoever you want to be on the web.  One can choose to hide behind anonymity or create a persona that is only a faint image of who you really are.  I chose to be me.  That created a frenzy of emails from concerned friends and family who told me I shouldn’t use my last name, or use my family member’s real names, or tell people what city I live in, or…you name it.  There was a concern that I shared too much information.  I understand the safety concerns of the web and I didn’t go into this blindly, still I am deliberate in what I share.  I want to be found and easily traceable.  Though I have been careful to protect identities of others when I needed to be, I made blogging into an exercise of being real in my own life, sharing hard struggles my family has been through, and describing the ways God was changing me and challenging my long held beliefs in many areas.  I am determined to be bold and share freely the good and the bad.  The good in the hopes of blessing someone else, and the bad hoping someone would bless me.  As a result of these choices, blogging has given me courage and made me a stronger, more confident person.  I have become more accepting and loving of the real me, which in turn helps me better accept and love others.

3.       Through blogging, I have made some wonderful friends.  It’s an amazing experience to meet someone I’ve connected with online and realize that friendships don’t have to be bound by internet access.  There are people in my blog roll that I haven’t had the pleasure of meeting face to face yet, but we love each other and encourage each other as we can.  My blogging friends have been there for me in times of crisis, praying for me and sending me notes to remind me that I am loved.  They’ve also been able to ask me for prayers when they need it.  It is a great community.  Blogging has connected me with other moms, artists, preachers, teens that have been in our youth groups – and their parents, old high school and college friends, people I go to church with, people on other continents, and more.  Blogging has shown me what a small world we live in and that we are all connected.

4.       Blogging has been an exercise in forgiveness.  I have met some not-so-nice people in the blogosphere.  People who aren’t interested in dialog and good conversation, but instead want to fight, divide, and condemn.  It’s easier to avoid those people while blogging by just deleting their comments, but I have found that opposition can be a good thing if channeled into something productive like making me take a second look at why I think or believe a certain way.  Depending on my state of mind, opposition has both upset me and spurred me on to deeper study and development of my beliefs.  I have learned how to forgive both myself and others more easily because of the blogging experience. Blogging has helped me grow as a person.

5.       There are million reasons that people blog, and my friends are spread across that spectrum.  There is a blog for any need I have.  I have gained so much knowledge and understanding by visiting some of the “meatier” blogs of my friends.  There are blogs I visit if I need a good laugh, or inspiration, or a new recipe to try.  There are blogs where deep theological discussions take place and blogs where the author just wants to encourage and uplift others.  This can also pose a problem and it’s one that I have learned from the hard way.  Blogs can take the place of real life interaction with people if I let them.  On the web, it’s easier to leave when someone offends me or makes me mad.  In real life, I have to stay and work things out.  I guess this ties into #2 on my list.  Blogging challenges me to be me wherever I am, whoever I am with, and to value relationships whether they are face to face or not.  There are some needs that aren’t supposed to be met long distance.  Blogging has given me an appreciation for relationships whether face to face or online, and it has made me a better person as I’ve traversed this path that is MY Journey.

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My thoughts on politics

Posted in Random, Rants, thinking things through on August 27, 2008| 10 Comments »

IMHO, If you’ve never read Relevant Magazine, you’re missing out. From beginning to end, I find it informative, encouraging, challenging, and funny. This particular issue did something amazing. It reflected my political beliefs almost exactly. Seriously. I don’t have permission to reprint the whole article here, but I can print parts of it as long as I site my source. RELEVANT Magazine, Sept./Oct. edition 2008, page 6, /First Word-Leading The Charge written by Cameron Strang. Consider it sited. 🙂

“I’m someone who tries to think independently and objectively, rather than simply follow what the pundits tell me to think. Because of that, I’ve realized I cannot fully embrace either political party. Both sides of the aisle have some great ideas and goals. But both also have areas where they simply get it wrong.”

“… historically, real, lasting change has started first at the grassroots level long before it was ever legislated. Cultural mindshifts influence Washington, not the other way around.”

“Many Christians traditionally have voted Republican because of their justifiable conviction to protect the lives of the unborn. Now many younger Christians are voting Democrat because of their justifiable desire to see our nation, the most prosperous in the world, address issues of poverty, global aid, and the environment. The problem is, many Christians vote these convictions, but that’s largely where their personal involvement in the issues stops. Are the government leaders we vote for meant to do our job for us? If God has given you a heart for the poor, or to see a reduction in the number of abortions, or to promote peace…then your personal focus needs to be on that-whether or not the President shares your same values.”

“…what if one day every value Christians stand for, even religious freedom itself, was legislatively removed? Christians in China and many other parts of the world face this reality every day. Would it change us? Dare I say, it might actually spur the Body of Christ here into greater action. Could it be that the loss of religious freedoms would ultimately be the best thing for American Christians because it would cause us to stand on our own two feet rather than relying on the government to legislate our faith and values for us?”

“Christians should be focused on personal action regardless of legislation, not just waiting for the right number of Supreme Court justices to come along. I’m not saying don’t vote. Do. Vote your convictions and let your voice be heard-that’s one of the perks of living in a democracy. But don’t let politics breed division, or make you see people in a different light. If you have a passion for an issue, rather than judging someone who doesn’t share that passion or viewpoint, just go do something about it. Give your life to it. Be the change you want to see.”

“We need to pray for our leaders and our country, but always remember that our leaders and country do not define us. We are the generation that will shape the direction culture, government, and social action will take in the next 50 years. It’s not up to Washington, it’s up to us – and I say it’s time we step up and lead the charge. But that means with our lives, our finances and our actions every day. Not just Nov. 4.”

I have a friend who can’t stand Obama and another who can’t stand McCain. They’re both Christians and both want to talk to everyone they know about the election, bad jokes and all. Thankfully they live in different states and will never butt heads in front of me. I have another friend who doesn’t believe in voting because they believe the outcome of the election is a product of God’s will. I’ve made my point about God working through His people and that there may be a difference in what God allows and what He wants – to no avail. Notice I used the word “friend”. I don’t have to share their convictions to be their friends. I don’t draw lines and divide myself from others because they will vote differently than I do. I don’t care who you vote for. I will love you anyway.

I am not a Democrat or a Republican. I don’t align myself with any particular political party. Will I vote? Absolutely. I believe my vote counts. But my vote doesn’t change who I am on a daily basis. What I do is not based on legislature, it’s based on love. You will not hear me complain about the President – no matter who wins or loses. Their job is hard enough and they need my prayers. I have too many other things happening in life to spend all my time complaining about the current administration . There are people on the streets, in my neighborhood, and in my home that need my attention and devotion. There is no government that can dictate how I choose to leave my mark on the world – Loving God and loving others – extravagantly.

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