It’s for sale everywhere we look. And we are desensitized to it. I’ve lost count of how many strip clubs are in a five-mile radius of my house. I don’t live in upscale, clean and safe suburbia. It’s not always so in-your-face. Sex is for sale in the check out lane of my our grocery stores. I’m not talking about Playboy, but on the covers of the fashion magazines and tabloids. It’s in the calendar aisle of our bookstores and in the romance novels lent out from our libraries. Sex is everywhere. And it’s our job to remain pure and teach our children to do the same? The deck is stacked against us, friends.
With our friends on the streets, sex is currency. I’ll have sex with you if you find me food and shelter for the night. I’ll have sex with you if you get me a $3.00 bag of heroin and share your needle with me. I’ll have sex with you so I’ll feel loved – even just for a little while. I’ll have sex with you so you’ll be “my old lady” and belong to no one else. This stuff is real, I hear it straight from the street kids themselves.
The news is dotted with stories of elementary school kids experimenting with sex, and junior high kids having oral sex parties. If you remember from my Redeeming Love, Part 2 post, most kids today don’t think oral sex is sex at all. Like I did at their age, they are believing the lie that sex is intercourse and everything else is just playing, testing to see what it feels like, and getting a preview of the real thing. Sometimes when the real thing finally does happen, it’s no big deal because of the sensations you’ve already experienced and you wonder what the big deal was about waiting for “IT”. Been there, done that.
Sex was not created by Satan, as some of the conservative adults in my life growing up made me believe. God made sex and even included a whole book about it in His Word. It is a gift to be shared between two people who have made the commitment to a lifetime of sharing it with only each other. Sex is not just intercourse, it’s being intimate in any way with someone else. It’s touching and probing whether both people are clothed or not. It’s giving a piece of yourself away to your partner, and accepting a piece of them in return, or not.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines sex as : “The sexual urge or instinct as it manifests itself in behavior.”
Oral sex is anything sexual involving the mouth. Would that make kissing a form of oral sex? Why do we kiss? To show our affection? To gain pleasure? To give pleasure? To be physically connected to our partner? I’m talking kissing here, not the innocent thing we give each other on the cheek as a greeting or a goodbye, but mouth to mouth contact. Think about it. If kissing were no big deal, then why is it so wrong for an adult and a child to kiss? Or how about young children kissing? Disturbing isn’t it?
Our world says sex is just physical, and nothing more, that we can detach ourselves from it mentally. What a lie. Even if we think we can detach ourselves, our subconscious knows and we live with it inside of us, acting out in ways we don’t even realize.
Our world says we should be intimate with potential life partners to see if we’re compatible. This is the funniest and stupidest of all the lies. Since when does physical compatibility have anything to do with it? Guess what? If there is a problem with physical compatibility, there are ways to ease or correct that problem. People use that as an excuse to experiment and play with fire.
Our world says it’s no big deal to show our bodies off. Some Christians buy into that too. NOW do I have your attention?
What does it say to a pre-teen or teen when their parents or other adults in their life encourage them in their pursuing of the opposite sex?
What does it say when we (adults) encourage them to “date around” and not get too serious with just one person? We hope they find “the right one”, just not too young or too soon. And when they do think they’ve found the right one and things go badly, we tell them there are other fish in the sea. We waver between not wanting them to have experiences too soon, and encouraging them to play the field. That’s messed up. What if they have found the right person for them and they want to get married and start their life together? I know what you’re thinking – it depends on their age, right? What if they’re both sixteen? Would that scare you and be unacceptable? How about 18? They’re legally adults and can vote and fight in a war at that age. How about 21?
What does it say when we think it’s romantic when they get that first kiss? Or when they hold hands and he plays with her hair when they sit near each other? It looks so innocent, but have your forgotten the fire that burns under the skin when you are touched by someone you desire? For guys, Benny calls it setting off their launch sequence.
What does it say about the Christian sub-culture when we look just like the world? Women and girls with tight and/or short skirts with lots of leg showing? Tight fitting shirts that accentuate breasts and waistlines? Or low-cut, cleavage showing clothing? Isn’t that advertising the goods? Guys aren’t without blame with their baggy pants that hang below their underwear, (not that it is attractive to girls) and their looks of approval to the women and girls mentioned above. It’s everywhere. Yes, even at church. I have separated teens that were getting too cozy with each other during the sermon. And do you think affairs never happen with church people?
There is not a corner of our society that you can find without the influence of sex.
Or is there?
Poignant – compelling – challenging – just plain good! I’m recommending your blog to everyone I know!!!
LikeLike
Sadly, I believe you are correct–I cannot think of one place that s*x has not invaded–I can hardly wait for parts 2, 3, 4 … of this! Preach on!
LikeLike
I think you are sadly correct about the infiltration of sex into every aspect of our society. I am especially saddened by this as the English and Bible teacher of High School students. They are inundated with images and worldviews that are so very opposite of what God has to say about sex.
Why is the Church so afraid to talk about sex? If we don’t start telling the Truth about it–that it is God-given and God-blessed for one man and one woman who have become one flesh in matrimony–then our kids (and adults) will start believing the trash that the world is dishing at them 24/7.
I am a single-again 35 year old woman. I am very active in my church, and I can tell you that even among my christian friends my stance on purity is considered to be prudish and entirely not possible. I am mocked, usually in a good natured manner, but mocked nevertheless. And, let me remind you….this is what I am getting from other christians.
As a leader of DivorceCare, I can’t tell you how many families have been split because of sex. One member of the family decides that they would rather have sex with a new person than to stay and fight for their marriage and children.
Sex, sex, sex….Satan has taken something so beautifully sacred and has turned it into something that has become the exact antithesis of what its Creator meant for it to be.
Thank you for your stance and for being vocal about it. I pray that God blesses your marriage and your family immensely.
His,
Jennifer
LikeLike
I know I am ringing in about a month late, and that nobody will probably read this post, but I just had to post a vote for young marriage. I was 18 when I got married. It was the best mistake I ever made. A mistake in part because no adult in my life ever helped me learn what was necessary or required of me for marriage. But, I am 25 now, and still married to the woman I wed those years ago. We fought through horrible times to stay together, as we both came from severely dysfunctional backgrounds, but we have made it, and we press on together now.
Thanks for your posts on these issues. The church and all of the parents in it need to wake up and smell the coffee in this area…desperately.
LikeLike
you have just ventured into my senses and you are the first blogger here who really got me into your blog.i always have sex talk with my sister who chats on webdatedotcom. she doesn’t hate sex because she obviously enjoys it but she doesn’t set me to beat her record with guys. she just plainly enjoys her life as she lives it. sex is given. we can’t just erase sex from our lives. it’s just how you handle sex.
LikeLike
I like the way your website is set up. It has a cool theme to it. I love the graphics of your homepage. I wish I can create a site that looks as good as urs .
LikeLike