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Archive for the ‘thinking things through’ Category

“Love the Sinner, Hate the Sin” and other bullshit we call Biblical

Posted in Free to be me, Growing Faith, thinking things through on March 26, 2013| 17 Comments »

If you’re new to this blog, or we’ve never met, then you need to know some very important things about me:

  1. I love Jesus. Completely. Unswervingly. And I know He’s crazy about me.
  2. I love people. More than animals, nature, philosophy, and chocolate.
  3. I am falling in love with Jesus’ bride, the Church. Choosing to be in love is probably more accurate.
  4. I have the privilege of friendship with thousands of people of every age, gender, nationality, religious creed, and sexual orientation.

I need you to know these things to set the context of what I’m about to say.

I’ve sat through amazingly frustrating conversations with friends whose hearts are golden. They love Jesus and strive to please Him, but they have swallowed so many platitudes over the years that they can’t even see how offensive they have become with their thoughtless comments like the first part of this post’s title, which is a thought from Gandhi, not the person of Jesus Christ.

As a young, zealous Christian, I used this phrase repeatedly, and I truly meant it. It made me feel good and holy to say it, like I was rising above something. But I’ve learned to be honest about my faith, and now I groan in frustration with this noble sounding garbage. I understand that it is an attempt to articulate that we’re supposed to love everyone, including the people who do bad things and are stuck in bad habits or addictions. Love the person, but hate what they do. Please, tell me how it’s possible to separate the person from their actions. I’ve never met anyone who HATED a behavior but still truly LOVED the person stuck in or choosing to participate in said behavior. When you hate something, you can’t help but feel negative emotion towards the person attached to it. It gets personal. Here’s a truth for you:

I am the sinner, and I am crushed by those who want to love me but can’t reconcile their hate for some of the things I believe and do. Sometimes it paralyzes me – the hate wearing a mask of love.

I have been bullied and abused by people in the name of “love” because in their minds, that is better than letting my flesh melt off in the fiery pit of hell for all eternity. I’ve been called all kinds of names and accused of denying the Bible as Truth, because I have tattoos, I don’t think ass is a cuss word (and I used the word bullshit in my title for this post), I shop at stores that support issues I don’t agree with, I love homosexuals, the name on my church sign doesn’t match theirs, and I don’t have a meek and humble spirit. I’m not a Proverbs 31 woman, and I don’t care. I can’t live up to the hype. But I am madly in love with Jesus, and He’s equally smitten with me. Every day I have to look to Him for my worth, because I’m not good enough for me, let alone anyone else. So I believe I am built to offer that same courtesy to others; See them as better than me rather than the other way around. Is that easy? Hell no!

I am a sinner, I’m not sin.

How about others? Be honest. How many rapists, child molesters, murderers, and genocidal dictators to you love? You hate their sin, right? Do you love them apart from their actions? How about liars, cheaters, and thieves? That feels a little more doable, doesn’t it? What say you about bullies, drug dealers, and pimps? Love them? Hate them? How about politicians whose personhood agendas differ from your own? Or your neighbor who leaves her neglected children at home so you have 3 extra kids to feed and feel responsible for? How about your friend’s sister who is an angry, belligerent lesbian? Or the televangelist who had a very public affair? Or the man who beat on you so many times you chose to run away? Or the Christian who feels justified in their hatred towards others? Where is the love for them as people?

Jesus has yet to say, “Niki, I am going to fill your life with people who are hard to love, and I want you to love them with everything in you, but still hate the things they do. Good luck with that.”

Love the sinner. That means EVERYONE. Forget the hate part and focus on the love part. I’m not saying we should accept, approve, or condone bad behaviors. They are destructive and anti-relationship, but don’t kid yourself thinking this is a holy statement and pleasing to Jesus. He was the one hanging out with loose women, cheating tax guys, common fishermen, and being accused of being a drunkard and glutton. I can’t find any examples in my Bible of Him loving broken people while showing disgust for what they do. (Lets save the Pharisees for a later discussion.) It wasn’t apparent by any of His actions, so was He condoning their behavior? No.  Jesus  loved people right where they were, and they were changed by being with Him.

THAT IS WHO I WANT TO BE!

Why should we waste time hating behavior when so many people are desperate for our love?

What does condoning behavior look like? How is it different from loving behavior?

I’d love to hear your thoughts on this.

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30 Day Drawing Challenge~Day 11: Turning Point in Your Life

Posted in Creativity, Drawing Challenge, Free to be me, Joy in the Journey, Just for fun, Marriage, Music, Promoting Friends, thinking things through, tagged , , on August 17, 2012| 6 Comments »

My life has been a series of turning points, so it took me awhile to decide what the biggest one has been so far. I slowly traced who I am and my current life back to its inception at York College. I was seventeen when I received my acceptance and scholarship letters. They were the apex of my dismal senior year. I counted the days until my friend Erin’s parents pulled into my driveway and loaded up my life for the long drive to York, Nebraska. I wasn’t able to look back for a long time.

 

I quickly made friends, double pierced my ears as a sign of independence, immersed myself in college life, boys, music, and…oh yeah, my studies. I met men and women who shaped and challenged me. I fell in and out of love. I formed friendships that have endured to this day. I played fast pitch softball with an amazing team of girls. I sang my heart out and performed in plays with some of my favorite people on campus. I stayed up half the night playing cards. I skipped chapel as many times as allowed without serious repercussions. I served on the Student Council and as a social club president. I perfected the egg burger with cheese during my work-study in the student center. I discovered there was more to my faith than what I had preached at me as a child. I worked hard and played hard. Then I met and married my amazing husband.

I wasn’t born at York College, but that is where I came to life. I honor that here with my drawing of the big water tower that passersby see on their way to Lincoln or Grand Island on Interstate 80. Oh how I love that landmark. 🙂

My kids are still deciding what their turning points are, but go read the nostalgic turning points of my friends:

Don at Expatriatism

Freebie at Free To Be Too Much

Girl at GirlyGeeky

 

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Hobbies Shmobbies, Part 2

Posted in Just for fun, October Challenge, thinking things through on October 28, 2011| 6 Comments »

It’s been a few days since I posted Part 1, so I thought I’d have time to think of other hobbies I enjoy. You already know that reading is at the top of my list. Browsing book stores and libraries would be a close 2nd. I love thrift store shopping and going to the movies by myself, but I don’t think of them as hobbies.

That’s it. I couldn’t think of anything else.

Does that make me mostly hobby-less?

Wikipedia says, “Hobbies are practiced for interest and enjoyment, rather than financial reward. Examples include collecting, creative and artistic pursuits, making, tinkering, sports and adult education. Engaging in a hobby can lead to acquiring substantial skill, knowledge and experience. However, personal fulfillment is the aim.”

I’m not a collector of anything anymore. I do enjoy a creative artistic project now and then, but I’m not consistent. I can’t think of anything I enjoy making. I’m not a tinker. I haven’t played sports since college. I do like learning new things. I wonder if I’m just in a busy season of life and for right now, I don’t have time for hobbies? (Other than reading, of course.) Or maybe it’s so easy to be a hobby chameleon because I don’t want to find a hobby of my own? I’m not sure. I just know that I don’t get excited about any one thing like a lot of the people in my life do. (Other than reading, of course.)

Maybe that’s enough. Maybe I’m putting way too much thought into this subject.

What are your hobbies?

Maybe I’ll join you…;)

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Hobbies Shmobbies, Part 1

Posted in Free to be me, October Challenge, Promoting Friends, thinking things through on October 25, 2011| 5 Comments »

My friend Sarah and I decided we should get together to make some jewelry soon. Her family was robbed this summer and all of her jewelry disappeared. I told her I have lots of jewelry making stuff that I never use because it was a hobby that I took up so Angi and I could enjoy it together…over 5 years ago. Tawnya and I stamped together because that was her thing. My mom and I baked together because that was her thing. I tend to do that, take up hobbies of friends because I enjoy doing the things they enjoy doing – when we’re together. When we’re not, those hobbies lay idle in the top of my closet.

What are MY hobbies? What could I waste spend hours doing ? If I had an afternoon to do whatever I want to do, I wouldn’t choose jewelry making, stamping, baking, scrapbooking, quilting, etc. There is only one thing I can imagine listing as a true and genuine hobby of mine: Reading. I know, you’re not surprised, right? 😉

I like to think that while I’m engaging in my friend’s hobbies with them, I’m not only enjoying their company, I’m also producing something beautiful. But the same is true of reading. Something beautiful is being produced when I’m holding a book in one hand and a cup of Chai in the other: rest, patience, adventure, and more. It’s been such a long day and I can’t keep my eyes open much longer, so I’ll pick up here tomorrow. In the meantime…

 

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My how I’ve changed…

Posted in Free to be me, Growing Faith, Homelessness, October Challenge, thinking things through on October 20, 2011| 5 Comments »

A man’s body was pulled from Boulder Creek yesterday. It’s the second time this month, and my very first thought was, “Oh God! Please don’t let it be anyone I know.” It’s not what I would have thought before we moved here. Back then I would have thought, “How sad!” and gone on with my day. Now news like that stops me cold. It got me thinking about how far I’ve come – how much I’ve changed. I am still me, but I’m a better version. Growth is good. My edges are smoother, the hardness softened, I have thicker skin, and more patience. God has made me pliable, more loving and forgiving, and definitely more dependent on Him. I’ve let go of so many preconceived notions about others, found a deep community of friends, walked through healing of some of my childhood horrors, and stepped into a new life of writing and speaking.

Yes, I’ve changed. The past 7 years have held such beautiful moments of triumph and crushing moments of sorrow. I’ve experienced new life and the sting of death. I know more is to come, but this post is about seeing how I’ve changed in practical and visible ways.

7 years ago, if the weatherman reported a forecast of a blizzard, I would smile and think, “Yes! Good napping weather, hot chocolate, pajama days.” Now I worry about my friends who live on the street and hope they find shelter with warmth and welcome.

7 years ago, I threw away food when it hit its expiration date. (Like it magically goes bad at midnight on that day??) Now, I am choosy about the food I get rid of and I not only share with friends in need, I feed my family on America’s leftovers. I use lots of coupons, shop at bakery outlets, and frequent a food bank.

7 years ago, I thought homeless people were middle-aged men with missing teeth, holding brown bags wrapped around a bottle. Now I know they are just like me. They have family and friends, problems and stress, and cover all ages from birth to 100 years old. They are someone’s daughter, son, father, or mother. Like me, they have a story to tell and need someone to listen and care.

7 years ago, I relied on a steady paycheck with insurance for my kids and money to pay for swimming lessons. Now I rely on God moving in people’s hearts and donations to our ministry so we can pay our bills, feed our family, and share what we have with our street friends. There is no money for lessons or insurance.

7 years ago, I was nervous pulling up to a stop light if there was a person there holding a sign asking for money, food, or work. Now stop lights are opportunities for me to chat, ask a name, and offer bottled water, new socks, and snacks to the person with the sign.

7 years ago, I hoped for miracles of healing. Now I manifest them.

7 years ago, I stepped out of the church (full-time ministry) and into the world. Now I step out of the world (full-time ministry) to speak at churches.

7 years ago, I was pretty self-centered and loved people like me. Now I’m less so and love people whom I have little in common with, and I’ve been surprised by who those people are. They’re not who you might think.

7 years ago, I thought my faith was real. Now I know it is.

I’ve come a long way and I’m looking more and more like the me I am made to be.

What about you? How have you changed in the last 7 years?

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