Last weekend I attended an amazing conference. I’ve been struggling the past two months and I really needed some things I wasn’t finding very easily. Peace of mind. Spiritual breakthrough. A solid lesson reminding me WHO I AM and WHOSE I AM. I needed to hear that God delights in me. He’s not sitting around talking to Jesus and the Holy Spirit saying, “Well, there she goes again. She’s doubting AGAIN. How many times do I have to prove that I love her? Will she ever just rest in me? When is she going to learn that she doesn’t have to earn my love? That girl is thick-headed.” Nope. Instead he’s up there saying, “See that beautiful girl? She’s ours. She’s rising above even in the storms of life. She’s strong and she’s going to be just fine. I’m going to draw the joy out of her and show her how to shine. She’s my Beloved.” These were some of the words I came home with. Now that’s something to smile about. I’m hoping to share some of the lessons from the weekend in the coming weeks.
I’ve been fighting off sickness since the conference, but I’m going to be resting most of the weekend so I’ll be fine next week. We’re heading to Buena Vista for the first time since last July. We have some friends coming from Wichita and Alabama. It’s going to be a great week. 🙂
Sometimes I Write 
It is amazing how there are times that your blog reaches home for me. I have been experiencing the same thoughts and doubts. I am sure that God has been saying the same things about me ( that you mentioned ). Yet I know that He welcomes me into His open arms —to give me comfort, to give me reasurrance of His love for me. I got a much needed lift in my spirit by reading your latest blog. It will help me get through another week or two of waiting (for grade results on an important test that will be the first step in an amazing journey to restructure my life— more later in my blog) and perhaps your blog will keep me from doubting not the LORD but myself. You are always in my prayers. Love you girl. Liz
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Nikki I read your blog this morning and I am glad I did. I know something of struggle and knowing you are in it pains me. I will be lifting you in prayer. Inspite of the crap that comes our way we MUST remember who we are and whose we are. This is often easier said than done.
Seeking Shalom,
Bobby Valentine
P.S. Psalm 3 … for whoever and wherever the enemies may pop up.
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I’ve been struggling a lot along these same lines, too. I know I am listening to the father of lies, and not my Father–your words encourage me. Hope your week is even better than you expect!
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I’m wondering if this season of doubt is hitting all the kindred spirits at the same time? I’m there…and truthfully, I’ve been avoiding it, in turn avoiding my Father. :ouch: But, last night we had a chance to pray with friends and I gave over some of those avoided burdens. And already, today is a better day 🙂
Thanks for sharing Niki – you are in my thoughts often.
Heather
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Praying for you and sending you cyber hugs. I’m looking forward to having coffee with you.
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Wonderful! A wise friend once said to me: “John, have you ever considered the possibility that God ENJOYS the process of fathering you?” Somehow, that is settling so many things for me.
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Niki,
Praying for you! May the Lord everlasting arms cradle you in His love.
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