Sometimes I Write

Yesterday I mentioned being chicken to call an old friend. I’ve thought a lot about it the past few weeks and my fears are not unfounded. There have been people from my past that I’ve tried to reconnect with after many years and in one case, I received a letter from a girl (college friend) that told me she wasn’t interested in being friends with me. She said I was a part of her past and she’d appreciate it if I stayed there. It was cold but worded politely. Most have been friendly, but several times, despite the efforts, conversation doesn’t come easily and you realize that too much time has passed. Without cultivating the friendship, and without the common grounds you once shared, there is little left to bond over. I’ve taken the chance every time because I really do believe you can never have too many friends. At the same time, when you are rejected like that, it tends to make you cautious.

Sometimes the friendship is renewed and grows stronger, and sometimes (as is the case with California Jennifer) you find a friend in an old enemy. Enemy is probably too strong a word to use here, though I think she used the word “nemesis” on her blog. LOL! But we clearly were NOT friends in college. We liked a few of the same guys, were in the same social club, and had a few of the same classes, but we were not friends. God is so awesome in being able to turn an enemy into a friend. California Jennifer and I are closer now than we’ve ever been and I’m so glad! It’s nice to be able to laugh at the ridiculousness of our 18 year old selves, and wonder if maybe someone was trying to keep us apart – we sure are a lot stronger together! And the things we have in common now…WOW!

Back to the present. I finished blogging lastnight and grabbed my cell phone and called him. I was nervous, but determined. He answered and we spent the next hour catching up on our lives. I had assumed he knew we were in Denver, which he didn’t. He and his wife just had their first baby two weeks ago, so once things calm down a bit, we’ll have them over for supper. I admitted to him that I was nervous calling and pretty much told him what I said in the first paragraph here. I think he understood, and he said some people you can just pick up where you left off… It was so good to hear his voice again…It’s been almost 7 years. Kevin is not just any friend, he always has and always will be a special part of my life. So why was I so worried?

Kevin was my best guy friend in college. He listened to me whine and gripe about my family and my past. He was there when I got insecure and sabotaged my relationships with boyfriends. He was reassuring when I questioned biblical truths. We had fun together and made each other laugh, but we cried together too. I was able to talk to Kevin and work through some things because of the trust we had. We prayed together. We were in a traveling singing group together, and the friendship got a little weird for awhile. Kevin knew my love languages before that book even made the bestseller list, and brought me little gifts after vacations. We had nicknames – I’m not sharing them. haha He was my college Tim. He was the 2nd boy ever to show me respect and teach me what it means to have a pure friendship with a guy. No wonder I loved him so much. There was never anything romantic between us, and I never would have thought that possible, except Tim had prepared my heart for that already. He reinforced my theory that is was possible afterall for guys and girls to be friends. My Dad came back into my life a few months before Benny and I married. Though we have a great relationship now, he was a total stranger to me then…so it was Kevin that I asked to “give me away” at my wedding, and I have never regretted it.

It may sound like I’ve placed these guys (Tim, Adam, and Kevin) on a pedestal, and maybe I have a bit, but I know they’re human and have their faults – though you’ll never hear me pointing them out. Each of these guys has done their part to show me a glimpse of the heart of God…that I’m worthy of love…that I’m worth fighting for. That men can be strong without me fearing them. They’ve held my heart in their hands (Tim & Kevin especially – since I knew them pre-marriage) and they protected it. Benny loves these men for loving me and treating me like the sister-in-Christ that I am. I’m so grateful for all of them. Tim and Kevin are both married to wonderful women. I’ve met Tim’s wife, and I’m about to meet Kevin’s. Someday Adam will marry the woman of his dreams. They all deserve the blessing of a wonderful spouse, and they all have helped me be one.

I’m glad I called.