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I was at dinner with the Captivating women last night when my family walked in the restaurant with a dozen roses, a box of chocolates, and a mylar balloon that said “Happy Mother’s Day Eve Eve” on it. Benny had added the “Eve, Eve” part. 🙂 I was really surprised and I loved it. It was totally unexpected. I have a wonderful family and I’m glad they appreciate me. It was a wonderful gift and you should have seen the three pairs of shining eyes and beaming grins directed at me as my kiddos presented me with my gifts. It was precious.

I know today is supposed to be a joyous occasion. I usually have visions of children bringing me breakfast in bed and stopping off for a cup of chai on my way to church. I imagine myself having a nice lazy lunch with my family followed by a relaxing afternoon of reading magazines and watching chick flicks. While that may not be far off from my plans for today, I’m not feeling very festive.

This Mother’s day is so different from the past eight Mother’s Days I’ve enjoyed. Losing our baby back in January has left me more emotional and painfully aware of all of the mothers in the world who are without their children. I’ve had two college friends miscarry since I did. One of them lost her twins this week. She had just created and posted a blog so friends and family could track their growth and progress. Then came the doctor’s appointment with no heartbeats. My heart is aching for her. Remember when I said I had hoped sharing my story would encourage others and let them know they are not alone? Guess who my friend turned to? So something good has come out of my loss and I believe that will continue to happen. On the flip side, one of my other friends just birthed a beautiful baby boy and I am so thrilled for her.

I still have so many unanswered questions. I feel something is missing from me. A friend of a friend, Loretta had a REALLY interesting blog post where she talked about the connection a mother and her unborn child have and how they exchange blood and stem cells and how the baby is physically a part of the mother long after she loses him/her or gives birth. I’ll be posting about that more this week.

Another friend who blogged about Mother’s Day reminded me how painful it was all of those years we didn’t have children. I had to sit through an entire church service that talked about the blessings of motherhood when I couldn’t seem to get pregnant no matter what I tried. It felt like a slap in the face and every May was a dreaded reminder of my seeming infertility. When I finally did get pregnant with Max, Benny presented me with my first Mother’s Day card…in January. 🙂 Love that man!

Mother’s Day is just not one of my favorite holidays. I’m thankful for it, but it’s bittersweet this year. Sorry to be such a downer. I hope all of you that are mothers are blessed by your children and families today. For all of you who are not yet mothers or may never be, either by choice or by circumstance, my hope for you is that God will fill you with peace and love and grant you the deepest desires of your hearts. If this is a painful holiday for you, I wish I could reach out and hug you. I know I have three phone calls to make. I want to express my gratitude to my mom, step-mom, and mother-in-law for pouring what they have into me and my family.

Happy Mother’s Day friends!  And Happy Birthday to my Mother-in-law Margie! 🙂

* Willow Tree Figurines can be found at many nationwide bookstores and at www.demdaco.com

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Evidently I think this is who I am. I have really over committed myself this week and I’ve done a poor job of managing my time. Where does that leave me? I’m going to bed before 10 p.m. (You’re gasping, aren’t you Jan?) I’m turning into my dad…or my husband. yikes. I’m so tired I can barely type. So why am I still typing you ask? Good question. I wish I could remember. Oh yeah. To tell you that I’ve once again signed on to be part of a blog tour. Join me tomorrow so I can tell you about the book, Generation NeXt Marriage: The Couple’s Guide To Keeping It Together by Tricia Goyer. I’m a Gen Xer and thought this book sounded interesting, especially since it was written for my generation.

I am holding a contest on this blog as well as my Sex, Love, and Marriage blog, to win a copy of the book. All you have to do to enter is leave a comment with either a title or a line from your favorite 80’s or 90’s love song. Sounds fun and easy, right? The contest will only run for 5 days beginning tomorrow, April 3rd and ending Monday, April 7th. If you think that’s fun, this is straight from the blog tour host site:

Oh…and you can win a date with your spouse (whoohoo) Love Gen X Style!

Share your story and WIN a dinner for TWO to the restaurant of your choice! ($50 maximum)

Tell us the story of how you and your spouse met. If you have photos, send those along, too! All the stories will be published on this blog.

The winning story will be the one with the most comments…so tell your friends. A winning story will be chosen at the end of the blog tour and will be published in Tricia’s monthly newsletter! (Just think, you’ll be famous!

Contest entry form for Generation NeXt Marriage blog tour!

See you tomorrow! 🙂

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The weather was great and we made it to Buena Vista to see our friends. I enjoyed a cup of chai and two hours of conversation with Linda. I bonded with my in-laws. We came home and Adam came for a visit. We had a wonderful time with all. And now for today…

Happy Easter!

This morning our family, including my friend Heather, visited a church that our new friends Steve and Missy (and their team) planted in Boulder. They are meeting in a high school and they had a pretty good crowd for their first Sunday. What a great day to open the doors of a church for the first time! The music was good. The message was encouraging. The people were friendly. Their was an excited buzz in the air. God was present. I was moved. It will be nice to visit the High Way Community from time to time to encourage our friends and join them in praising God.

We spent the afternoon with the Captivating families minus my dear friends Paula and Jerry. Paula has a killer toothache and isn’t functioning very well, so she was home in bed. 😦 Please pray for her. We all met at Wendy’s house and had a great time eating, laughing, talking, having an Easter egg hunt for the kids and reading an Easter story together. 8 adults and 16 children. It was fantastic. After we prayed together, Wendy said, “He is risen!” and everyone responded with “He is risen indeed”. Everyone except me and Benny. Was this some secret ritual we didn’t know about? We had never heard that before. I guess it’s some sort of liturgical reading and response – something we never did in the C of C. Nobody really knew the exact origin of the phrase. Anyway, it was cool and we joked that they needed to teach us the secret handshake as well. 🙂 It was an afternoon with our extended family and it was refreshing and filling.


This picture was taken last summer at Wendy’s murder mystery birthday party, “Killing for the Crown”. L-R is Me, Wendy, Paula, Abi, and Kristi.

In the Broadway hit, Les Miserables, one of the lead characters sings, “To love another person is to see the face of God”. How true. God has moved, shaped, loved, stretched, comforted, and grown me through the relationships I have with these 4 fabulous women. I am who I am today because of their influence and the road we’ve walked together the past two years. My sisters and friends. I have experienced God in new ways through these women and their families. He is risen alright! He is alive and at work all around me and in me! He is risen indeed!

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