Sometimes I Write

30 Day People Challenge – Day 11: Someone You Admire

Posted in Books I Love, Creativity, Free to be me, Joy in the Journey, Just for fun, tagged #30peoplechallenge, 30 Day Challenge, Blue Like Jazz, Donald Miller, Searching For God Knows What, Storyline Conference, writing challenge on November 11, 2015| 1 Comment »

This is Donald Miller. Several years ago a friend asked, “Hey! Have you read Blue Like Jazz yet?” They lent me their copy and I stayed up late (as I often do) finishing it in one sitting. It was deeply moving, and if you haven’t read it or any of his books, I recommend them all. My favorite is Searching For God Knows What. There were several times I paused to pull the book to my chest and whisper the word “yes” into the night. I found another kindred spirit in Don Miller!

I had the privilege of attending his Storyline Conference in Nashville in 2013. I was there alone, for about two seconds until I met Jennifer. I adopted the philosophy a long time ago that everyone I meet is a potential friend, so Jennifer, who was also attending alone, became my conference buddy. It was great to have someone to process with everyday. We were both inspired by amazing speakers like Bob Goff, Shauna Niequist, and Joshua DuBois. I sat in on a breakout session with Christian recording artist, Brandon Heath as he played a sweet song for us that wasn’t on any of his albums and graciously answered everyone’s questions about life in the spotlight and living out your faith. Don’s main sessions had me scribbling hot pink notes all over my binder. At the end of the day I said goodbye to Jennifer and went back to my beautiful condo across from the Grand Ole Opry – a timeshare gift from a generous couple in my life – and wrestled with everything I was learning. Over the course of four days, I mapped out the beginning of my new life plan, then flew home to share my conference stories with anyone who would listen.

But back to Don. As I was thinking through the weekend and going over my notes, my thoughts kept returning to him. He has a team of people who help him pull off these conferences. He has a contact list full of movers and shakers he calls friends. He has several books under his belt. He started a ministry aimed at helping the fatherless. He’s done a long list of worthy things that have earned him the admiration of thousands of people, but that’s not what stands out for me. Don himself stands out because he realized life wasn’t about him and when he embraced that, he found the happiness that had been eluding him. Like solving a puzzle he’d been working on for years, Don found his passion then found a way to use it to help me find mine.

Isn’t that one of our first wake-up calls as we mature? That we are not the center of the universe? It’s not always about us? I admire Don Miller because he’s teachable, he learns, grows, and does better, and he lends courage to others to do better. His whole Storyline franchise is about helping other people tell a better story with their lives. It’s about all of us and the stories we tell ourselves, and the stories we tell others. He had the courage to stumble through the process first.

One of my favorite lessons I’ve learned from him can be found in this post on the Storyline blog: 4 Words That Changed My Career.

I have a psychologist friend who, after hearing me speak at a conference, pulled me aside. At the conference, I talked about how I’d written 1/4 of a novel and thrown it away because it wasn’t good enough. He said, “Don, I think I know your problem. You’re being too careful. When you first started as a writer, readers loved your work because you said what you felt; you took huge risks. Now, you’re always so careful. We miss the Don who wasn’t careful.”

I am too careful.

I admire Don for going first and giving me a tool box to build a better life. Because of him, I’m learning to tell a better story. I’m learning to be less careful and take more risks. I’m growing in my ability to be my fierce self without the fear of being too much and not enough. His courage gave me courage so I could give you courage. Pass it on! ♥

I had a difficult time choosing who to write about today. With the flip of a coin, Don beat out Brene Brown. No worries, I’ll write about her before this challenge is over. 😉

Go ahead. Flip a coin to see which challenger to visit next:

30 Day People Challenge – Day 9: A Crush

Posted in Free to be me, Humor, Joy in the Journey, Just for fun, Loooong Post, tagged #30peoplechallenge, 30 Day Challenge, crush, LaCrosse, Longfellow Middle School, Random Lake, Wil Wheaton, Wisconsin, writing challenge on November 9, 2015| 2 Comments »

Crush. n. A brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.

Been there. Done that a few hundred times. When I was younger, I thought it was love. I know the difference now that I’ve experienced the real thing. Crushes can be harmless or destructive, depending on what you do with them. Every time I got my heart broken over a crush I felt…well…crushed. I wondered if that’s how the word came into being. Unreciprocated feelings are crushing. For the purposes of this post, I’m going to look at it through a fun lens instead of a heartbreaking one. And sometimes crushes like you back!

Having a crush on someone is exciting! Your adrenaline pumps harder, your heart beats faster, and you either become mute or can’t shut up when your crush talks to you. Yeah, thanks for that, stupid body. Sometimes our brains make us dumb or at least look like we are. As a kid, it’s really embarrassing. As an adult, it’s even more embarrassing. Have you ever met someone you strongly admired? I have. I get star-struck/fan girl about very few people, but when it happens, it’s humiliating.

I shared about my very first crush when we did the drawing challenge in 2013. From that post:

“I never went through the “boys are gross” stage, and I’ve had about a hundred crushes, but my first was Michael Hurda. He was the boy next door. Okay, more like a block away. I could see his house from our porch. He had dark brown hair and a big cheesy grin. We walked to our elementary school together all through first and second grade, and logged hundreds of miles circling the neighborhood on our bikes. He never treated me like a girl when we were kicking a ball around or playing tag, so of course I loved him. On a field trip to our teacher’s farm in first grade, he told my mom he loved me and was going to marry me someday. Then we moved away the next year and I didn’t see him again until a chance meeting in high school. He had moved to another city but was visiting our hometown and we ran into each other. We reconnected for a bit as friends, but lost touch again. Not to sound all stalkerish, but I know where he is. I found him on Facebook, but didn’t friend request him. I also found the biggest crush of my childhood, and we ARE friends on Facebook, but that’s not today’s challenge.”

Except now it IS today’s challenge. If you asked me to immediately name my childhood crush, my answer would be Chris Thiede. (Sorry Michael.) He’s the boy I fell in love with in 4^th grade. Blonde hair, hazel eyes, goofy grin, and a gentle spirit. He was nice to me and I was glad he was my friend. He liked me too. He was the first boy I passed love notes to, and I remember he dressed as a pirate when he came to my house for a Halloween party. I remember which bus Chris rode to and from school and how he looked in his boy scout uniform. I remember the horror I felt when I accidentally hurt him in front of everybody on the playground, and the softness of his hands when he let me help him back to his feet. One of my favorite memories was the look of triumph he gave me when I won the spelling bee. When I first found him on Facebook, I was sure he wouldn’t remember me, but he did.

I’ve wondered many times why Chris sticks out so much when I think back on my childhood. I think it’s because I met him right after I woke up. There are almost two years of my childhood that are a complete blank. Trauma related. My memory picked back up when we moved to Random Lake and I remember a crazy amount of details from the two years we lived there. All of my friend’s names, what my soccer uniform looked like even though there are no pictures to prove it, what my best friend’s bedroom smelled like, everything. A few years ago I went back to visit the little town. I haven’t been there since I was a kid, but I knew where everything was, even destinations miles away from town. I drove straight to them. As I reread this before posting it, it’s obvious I had a crush on Random Lake too. Ha!

We moved back to LaCrosse right before 6^th grade and I thought I was going to die of a broken heart. On my first day at Longfellow Middle School, they herded all of us 6^th graders into the library. I was sitting at a table talking to my new insta-friends Koua Lo and Terri Rudolph, when a beautiful boy with brown hair and blue eyes walked through the door. I think my heart skipped a beat and I forgot to breathe, so I was doubly shocked when his twin walked in right behind him. Wow. Chris who? And that’s the day I started crushing hard on Brian Weaver. No matter who I dated through middle school and high school, Brian was always in the back of my mind. I wasn’t annoying about it most of the time, but my high school best friends can all attest to its constancy. Though I’m sure he knew, I never told him I liked him for two reasons. 1. He was WAY out of my league. 2. Even though he was always nice to me, his twin was a total ass and didn’t like me at all. Trust me when I tell you it’s possible to love one twin and hate the other – both with a fiery passion. I don’t know what happened to them after high school, but I can tell you Brian DID have competition.

From 1986 on, I was also in love with my birthday twin, Wil Wheaton. I first saw him in my favorite childhood movie, Stand By Me. He played Gordie Lachance, a writer and the story’s narrator. I was smitten! What? He’s cute and a geek like me!

Wil and I were born on the same day, in the same year, in the same state, in hospitals just a couple of hours away from each other. I’ve written about him before because I love him in a non-stalkerish-he’s-a-celebrity-and-doesn’t-know-who-I-am sort of way. Celebrity crushes: Everyone has them. Wil Wheaton is mine. MINE. Kidding. Did you know he’s a blogger? Oh yes! He’s a blogger, writer, actor, husband, father, and more. I stop by his site from time to time.

There have been other crushes since then, but these four are the ones worth highlighting. And for the record, I didn’t have time to crush on Benny. Our relationship went from non-existent to unofficially engaged inside of a month. Twenty-three years later, I can confidently say we are the definition of whirlwind romance! ♥

My friend’s crush stories are shorter and even sweeter:

30 Day People Challenge – Day 8: Best Friend Now

Posted in Family, Free to be me, Humor, Joy in the Journey, Just for fun, Promoting Friends, tagged #30peoplechallenge, 30 Day Challenge, writing challenge on November 8, 2015| 1 Comment »

I was whining to Benny about today’s post – how I can’t pick just one person as my best friend. That’s not how I live my life! He suggested I do a Weird Science thing and combine all of the best and most desired traits to make the perfect best friend. After I stopped laughing, I realized there’s a nugget of truth to that approach. I’m complex and so are my friends. There is no one person that meets all of my friend needs, not even Benny. I’m connected to different people for different reasons and circumstances, but there are some things all of my closest friends have in common: Mutual trust, loyalty, humor/silliness, and depth. With that as my criteria, allow me to introduce you to my best friends right now. (I stole their pictures from Facebook.)

I’ve already written about Benny, Lennie, and Tawnya, so I’m moving on.

Karen is my best friend in Denver. We met at church several years ago. I was actually friends with her husband first and he introduced us. Thanks John! She is my reading buddy, movie date, and we henna each other’s hair. She’s the one who went on vacation with me and Tawnya a few years ago. She is so unlike me in all the right ways. She’s Spock to my Kirk – more logical and level-headed where I tend to be more cocky and fly by the seat of my pants. She has two green thumbs (maybe more) while I joke about growing people, not plants. She does that too – grow people! She’s amazing! We share a birthday month, so we celebrate together as long as we can.

Heather and I speak the same language. We both grew up in difficult situations but are overcomers and we’re thriving now. We are not only fluent in sarcasm and witty comebacks, we speak the same dialect! Ha! Before she moved to Texas, she was my movie buddy, and writing buddy, and pina colada buddy. I flew to San Antonio to see her twice this summer. I’m trying to convince her Colorado is her real home. We’d spend less time on the phone, and I have the mountains on my side, enticing her. 😉

Don lives too far away! I can’t put a French number on speed dial, so I am especially grateful for Facebook Messenger which allows us to connect almost every day. He’s my partner-in-crime for these challenges we take on, and he’s a fellow geek/nerd. We both prefer Star Trek over Star Wars, go head to head on trivia games, and have a sort of brother/sister relationship. You know, because my five brothers don’t tease me enough. I wish he’d move back to Colorado, but I know that’s not happening anytime soon. I’ll enjoy his friendship from afar for now.

Beckie and I have known each other the longest since we met in college. She’s older, wiser, and funnier than me. We didn’t know each other well back then, but we sure do now! Beckie and I grew up in the same faith heritage and we’ve struggled with forging our own paths, which is a nice way of saying we own matching sets of baggage. She is a fellow homeschooling mom, we both have a Max under our roofs, and she might as well live near Don in France for as often as I see her. Still, I adore her. We talk about deep stuff – stuff that almost requires oxygen masks and reminders to breathe. Those chats are balanced out by bouts of silliness sisters might share. She’s like the older sister I never had.

Cherie is my best friend from church, and my dealer. She supplies me a good portion of the Chai I consume. 😉 She’s a fabulous lunch date! We have a regular booth at Chili’s where the server knows our appetizer and drink order by heart, and greets us by name. Cherie makes trips to American Furniture Warehouse seem like a day at the circus, and dreams about future projects with me as we treasure hunt at thrift stores between our houses. I love spending time with her, and not just because she spoils me.

Rebecca is my best friend from FACE, the private school for homeschooling families that meets once a week. Though we’ve both been there for years, she and I connected a few years ago when I taught a couponing class to the moms. I’m so glad our friendship has grown because Becca has such a sweet spirit and she’s hilarious! Her daughter is in my drama class and good friends with Max and Zoe. Becca spoils me too.

I noticed another common thread with all of these people. All of my best friends are introverts. How did that happen???

Want to read more? Check out my fellow challenger’s posts too!

30 Day People Challenge – Day 7: Best Friend from Childhood/High School/College

Posted in Family, Free to be me, Joy in the Journey, Just for fun, tagged #30peoplechallenge, 30 Day Challenge, Best Friends, Childhood, DOE CLUB, High School, writing challenge, York College on November 7, 2015| 1 Comment »

I don’t have just one favorite of anything, especially people.

My best childhood friend? Easy! My cousin Jodee. We didn’t go to school together, but we went to church together and more importantly, church summer camp. We were the Wood girls, and we were inseparable most of the time. She was my first true friend. We trusted each other with our secrets and had halves of best friend necklaces. We laughed, prayed, cried, sang, crushed, served, dreamed, and grew up…together. I don’t know what I was to her, but she was my rock. I wish I had a picture of us together when we were little. The only one I know of is the two of us standing in front of the fireplace and I’m wearing my underwear over my pants. I’d share it if I had it. 😉

High school best friend? This is where it starts getting tricky. Jodee was still at the top of my list, but I also had my best guy friend from school – Tim Ranis, two best girl friends from school – Lyanna Steers and Lisa Bashaw, and two best friends from camp – Rob Martinson and Jeremy Harness. Three guys. Three girls. Through the magic of Facebook, I’m still connected to them all! Lucky me! If I had planned better, I could have shared pics of all of them, but that requires tracking them down in photo boxes, or stalking them on Facebook.

College brought a whole group of best friends into my life in the form of the DOE Club. We were a small group of dorm girls who bonded over Oreos, Tropicana Twister, and hours-long conversations about all aspects of life. What happened in DOE meetings stayed in DOE meetings. Secrecy and trust are essential when you’re splaying open your chest so everyone can see your heart, so we never allowed new members to join us no matter how much we loved them. Too much had been shared. It sounds selfish, but it was self-preservation. I love my DOEs!

Even within this AMAZING group of girls, there was one I was closer to than the others, and she’s still one of my best friends today. Since our college days, Tawnya (Widel) Hart and I have traversed many of life’s mountains and valleys together. We live ten hours away from each other, but still manage to stay in touch. We’ve traveled to see each other many times, and a few years ago my best friend from Denver and I met up with Tawnya and flew to the east coast to vacation for a week together in the Berkshires. What a fabulous trip!

Last but not least, my college guy best friend and favorite nerd/geek on the planet – Kevin Lewis. We traveled together for the singing group we were in, met weekly to watch Star Trek: The Next Generation, and he walked me down the aisle at my wedding. It’s really a toss-up which guy was more influential in making me see my worth as a woman in a non-sexual way – Tim or Kevin. I adore them both! We got to spend some time together this summer and it made me so happy to watch our daughters become friends. So what if there’s a ten-year age difference.

I can’t even get into all of the best friends I’ve had in the last 23 years since college. There’s one or two in every city I’ve lived in, every group I’ve been part of, and every season of life I’ve been through so far.

All of my friends are the BEST!

Go read about my friend’s friends here: