Sometimes I Write

I’ve had a few people ask why I wanted to tackle such a controversial subject on my Sex, Love, and Marriage blog.  Simple…I didn’t want to.  I believe I was supposed to do it.  That blog is my place to discuss difficult subjects that aren’t normally talked about in Christian circles.  Silence isn’t always golden.  Silence can breed ignorance, misunderstanding, judgment, and a long list of other words I don’t really want to be associated with. As I stated in that post, it took me a long time to post it.  I wasn’t sure how people would respond to it.  I didn’t want to be judged, slandered, ridiculed, alienated, or blacklisted from anything.  Fear is such an ugly word, isn’t it?  It’s possible none of those things will happen…doubtful, but possible.

There are some wonderful people in my life that don’t feel they have anyone else to talk to and discuss the hard topics with.  They too fear judgment.  So my motivation was to give those friends some thoughts and a place to dialog should they choose to.  (I allow anonymous comments, but moderate them before they appear on the webpage.)  Most of those discussions have been happening over the phone and through email, but I felt like there was a need to open it up to a wider audience.  Respectful discussion is healthy and we all need to be doing more if it.

A very wise woman recently said (to me and a few hundred others):

“It’s important to write and speak the truth, but we must not forget that we should marry love to the truth. I once had a friend who got angry with me when I confronted her about her hurtful, demeaning words toward someone else. “I’m being authentic,” she told me. I thought about that a long time. But as I ruminated, I realized there’s more to authenticity than simply letting your thought-of-the-moment fly out there. We must have self-control. We must tender our words. We must speak (and write) the truth that comes into our head in the manner we’d like to receive it—kindly, compassionately.  I agree that as writers we should be truthful, but keep in mind we must also temper our words, season them with grace. The world is full of truth-tellers, but I fear it’s lacking in kind-speakers.”

I left her name off because I don’t have permission to share that with you.  But I thought what she said was beautiful and eloquent.  It had nothing to do with my blogging, but it was a good reminder to me to not be “in your face” about my frustrations with Christian circles and the lack of communication surrounding the topic of sex.   So I hope my readers will understand what a labor of love that post really was.  It was a gift to some friends who need to talk about it.  I hope they all respond.  Either way, I want to be both a truth-teller AND a kind-speaker.