Sometimes I Write

My breath caught in my throat as we descended into the Arkansas Valley. It had been dark for an hour already, but I could see the black silhouette of Mt. Princeton looming before me. The love affair I have with that mountain will live on forever. I’d been anticipating this trip for weeks now and as I maneuvered the van around the curvaceous rocks that lined the road, I felt my pulse begin to race. It’s always a homecoming of sorts when I visit Buena Vista. Every trip is filled with emotions ranging from nostalgic peace, to anger, to hope and contented joy. The memories from past visits and living there accompanied by excitement of adventures to come are my companions. My other companion for this trip chatted happily the whole way from Denver. “Mama, guess what? Mama, did you know that…Mama, I saw a horsie…Mama…” 🙂 Zoe was looking forward to spending the day with grandma while I soaked up the company of Linda.

The lights from my in law’s southwestern style house cast a welcome glow as we drove up the hill. We settled in and I phoned Linda to let her know we had arrived safely and to make our plans for the next morning. After visiting with Pete and Margie for a bit I settled Zoe into bed and read my Bible. I’m searching out a verse someone quoted to me on Monday…I didn’t find it, but I will. I shut the light off and smiled as I gazed out the window. From my bed I could see the star-filled sky. That’s something I’ve missed since moving back to the big city. One of the dippers was perfectly framed by the window. I’m not sure which one and I was too tired to get up to take a closer look at the surrounding sky. On nights like this one, sleep comes fast and easily.

Just a few minutes after I shut my alarm off, Zoe crawled in with me and we snuggled as we talked about the day ahead of us. “Grandma said I can ride the horse if it’s warm enough outside. And we’re going to Ron and Nita’s to see the miniature horses. And I get to play outside. And Grandma said…” She was in for a day full of adventures! And so was I…

I picked Linda up and we drove to Salida for her eye appointment. I read my current book as I waited and occasionally chatted with whomever sat beside me on the couch in the waiting room. The place was busy and mostly with elderly people. One couple in particular were Mr. and Mrs. Mink. I recognized them but wasn’t sure from where. I worked a few different jobs when we lived in Buena Vista many years ago. We chatted and Mrs. Mink told me of her grand babies and how her husband had a stroke and brain surgery and could hardly walk anymore. It seemed they were always at one doctor or another. She spoke fondly of her daughter who does a good job of helping out and getting them where they need to go since they can’t drive anymore. When Mr. Mink’s name was called they both got up and she walked behind him into the back office. She winked at me and said, “He can go first in case he starts to fall I can grab him by the belt”. I laughed and nodded. Mrs. Mink is half his height and he’d probably take her down with him if he lost his balance. What a sweet couple. I wondered if Benny and I would be that way when we get up there in years. It doesn’t surprise me that we fear aging. Our bodies stop doing what we want and need them to, we have to depend on others more for help, and the need for health care is more frequent and more expensive. I wonder if that’s God’s way of helping us let go of the bodies we have to receive the new ones we’ll get.

After the appointment Linda and I went to a little cafe to have lunch and I told her all about my amazing experience Monday night. That’s tomorrows post. She caught me up on her health issues and what happens next as far as she knows. She’s still in Atrial Fib and Congestive Heart Failure – which you can live with for years. That was news to me. Her heart is not converting to the meds she’s been on for several weeks now. If it doesn’t convert soon, they’re sending her to Colorado Springs for more aggressive measures. We didn’t talk too much about that, but I said I’d drive and meet her if that happens. She looked so beautiful as she smiled at me and spoke truth to me. She has spiky blond hair and wears chunky silver jewelry with turquoise and mother of pearl inlays. I took a mental snapshot of her in that moment and I told her how scared I had been that we wouldn’t have the chance to sit there and share our lives like that. I told her that our age difference stacked the odds in favor of her going to be with Jesus before me, but that was something too painful to think about most of the time. She laughed and said, “Oh honey!” as she patted and squeezed my arm. I’m thankful I can be completely honest with her about the hard feelings and it didn’t overshadow our day together. We ate and laughed and talked about our kids, husbands, friends, and churches for a long time. Then we drove to a little coffee shop and enjoyed lemon bars for dessert and coffee (her) and chai (moi). Another lady and her daughter we both knew joined us for a few minutes and I shared my blown glass story with them. We talked for awhile about God asking us to do things that are a little (or a lot) hard for us, but how following through in obedience brings great blessing for us and for others. It was so beautiful. The whole day was incredible and wonderful. I stopped counting how many times I silently thanked God for all that He gives me. We finally headed back to her house to visit with her husband Jim – a wonderful man. He always make me feel loved and safe, and like I’m part of the family.

It was finally time to head back home and I drove back to Pete and Margie’s to get Zoe. My in laws sent us home with a big box of food for the pantry and a bunch of stuff in a freezer bag. They take good care of us. We promised to return soon with the boys and said our goodbyes. Before leaving town I took Zoe to see Jim and Linda. She sat on Jim’s lap and cuddled with him like a grandaughter with her grandpa. She hugged on Linda and was silly for a few minutes. She recounted the details of the big day she had had. She was thrilled when they gave her a coupon for a free ice cream cone from K’s – the ice cream place in town that has been open for 50 years. So we had one last stop before heading back through the mountains. Jim and Linda stood outside and waved as we drove away and I was filled with loving warmth as I thought about that family tradition in our family when I was growing up. God is so amazing to keep adding to our own personal families as we grow.

Zoe slept most of the 2 ½ hours back to Denver, which left me peace and quiet to think and pray. We got home around 9 pm. and put the kids in bed. I filled Benny in on the trip and some decisions I had made on the way home, then checked my email. A few friends scolded me for not blogging. I feel like I’m always apologizing for my lack of blogging. The good news is that I know what’s been keeping me away and that barrier has been removed this week. Praise God! So don’t give up on me, I really do have a lot to say.