Sometimes I Write

It’s been a bit of a stressful week here with SEVENS. I think I just need some prayers for courage and strengthening of my faith. I’m posting a copy of the email we sent out to our prayer team last night. Benny is so sweet to include prayers for me, especially when I’m sitting here worrying about HIM. 😉 He worked hard to finish up our website over the last couple of weeks and we just discovered that all of the work he did, didn’t publish. He’s off at a coffee shop working on it today since we have dial-up internet here at home. I’m having a hard time being thankful for it and I’m seriously coveting high speed! 😉 Anyway, here’s the email:

THANK YOU FOR YOUR PRAYERS!

We are in a bit of a crisis tonight. Our support, for the first time in almost 2 years is short. One of our supporters is unsure if he is going to continue supporting us. I’m not sure why. Today was the first time I heard about this and it puts us $1000 short. Plus we’ve had some other supporters not able to give this month for various reasons. So we are in a tough spot.
Satan is taking every opportunity to use this. My gut reaction is panic and a little despair. I know that is from the enemy and not from God. I know that God is faithful and will come through. I still struggle with what is my part to do?? But at the same time I want to live my life in a way that screams, “I trust God!”
So I need from you:

1. Pray for a sense of God’s peace for me and my family. Also pray a special prayer for Niki. This kind of uncertainty rocks her sense of security. “Lord help us to know in our heads, hearts, and actions that you will come through. Help us to live like we are convinced that you will care for us.”
2. Pray that God will give us additional support to make up the shortage for this month.

I found myself worrying out loud to a friend yesterday and when I got home I felt so stupid. That friend has been living in a similar situation for nearly 6 years. 6 years!!! And here I am facing our first month that short of a miracle, we will not be able to pay all of our bills, and I’m feeling panicky. Yikes! Where is my faith? God moved us to do this and I know he won’t let us starve, but I don’t want to skip any bills this month. I grew up like that and carried that habit into our marriage. We have been working hard to be on top of that for a long time now, so the possibility of facing that again is disheartening.

Maybe I shouldn’t have typed this until God had calmed my heart. The people that doubted we could or should do this are appearing in my mind. It’s time to get off the computer and spend some time with the only one who can totally calm my fears. Thank you for reading here and thank you for your support and prayers! I’ll give you an update as soon as I can.