Sometimes I Write

I spent a good part of this week too blue to blog. But now I’m back and starting to be refilled with the spirit and the energy that comes with him. Here’s a recap of last weekend and a few other things that have been happening in my life.

The retreat went very well. Thank you all for praying for me and the women that were in attendance. I think I did a good job for my first big speaking gig. Ofcourse the perfectionist in me knows every little mistake I made and all of the things I forgot to say that I wanted to. Still, the women were touched and I know I made an impact on atleast a few of them. Meeting Michelle G. was nice as well. She’s been a regular visitor of this blog for a month or so and it was good to meet her face to face. (Now you know how NOT normal I am, Michelle!)

The weekend was filled with stressful situations and I wasn’t sure if it was just coincidence or an all-out attack by Satan and his cronies. Friday night my laptop crashed for no apparent reason, not allowing me to print off my notes (which I should have done at home before I left, but assumed I could just do it at the hotel business center). That also meant no power point if we didn’t get it working again…which we did about the time the dinner started. I was to speak following the dinner. Because of the electronic dilemma, I didn’t get my notes printed off and had to speak from my handwritten/scribbled first draft. Yikes! I had rewritten quite a bit of it as I typed it out, so I didn’t remember all of the changes off the top of my head while standing in front of a listening audience. 😦 Later, the laptop worked just fine, so the glitch was unexplainable. And the laptop was used to RUN the power point so I couldn’t just talk using it instead of my notes, though that would have looked strange too I suppose. I winged it and all went well anyway. I feel I lost some of the impact, but they didn’t know that.

Next, a lady insulted me 15 minutes before my first talk on Saturday morning. She was a lovely black woman, and in small talk about colleges and professors and preachers, she began naming off all these people she thought I might know. When I told her I was sorry, but I didn’t know any of them, she said, “Well, I’m naming all the white ones cause I’m assuming those are the only ones you’d know”. I just stood there in disbelief not sure how or if I should respond to that. And THEN she proceeded to tell me why Church of Christ people are the only “true Christians” and the only ones going to heaven. That’s a sore spot with me that I may discuss at a later date. I finally smiled and told her that I totally disagree with her, but we could disagree, be sisters and love each other anyway. I don’t think she listened to another word I said the whole retreat. She upset me so much that I had to leave the room to compose myself before getting up to speak. UUUUGGGGHHHH! Could that have been anything other than Satan using a sister to attack me and throw me off my game?

Despite the annoying crap that happened, there were more positives than negatives, and they were GREAT! My friend Angi flew in from Indiana to surprise me, and boy was I ever surprised. I can’t believe she was actually able to keep it a secret from me! My college friend Keri drove from Springfield, MO to hear me speak, and my friend Cheryl from Wichita brought 3 friends with her for the retreat as well. I also got to meet Michelle, which I mentioned above. My talks went pretty well. I know I touched a few hearts and made some women think about how they view themselves and others versus how God views us all. I talked and laughed with a bunch of women and that alone is energizing for me. I stayed in a 4 star hotel, ate good food all weekend, went to see “The Devil Wears Prada” with my girlfriends, and got paid to do something I love. Overall it was a great experience! And a learning one as well. I’m going to keep working on and improving the message God has given me to share and pray for more opportunities to share it.

I got home Sunday night and CRASHED! I went to bed at 8:30 p.m. and slept until the same time the next morning. THANK YOU BENNY for wrangling the kids so I could do this. Monday I spent a good part of the day in bed resting, then hung out with my family. And then Tuesday came and I was part of a miracle. Tuesday morning (4 a.m.) my friend Heather called to tell me she was going to the hospital. I met her there and MANY hours later, at 2:02 p.m., I assisted in the delivery of her baby boy. It was amazing! I watched him enter the world and take his first breath! I’ll leave out the details and keep this a PG13 blog, but friends, I’ll never be the same after being a part of something so amazing! I have a new kind of bond with my friend and her husband, he was amazing too. Joe was so loving and attentive to Heather – not a guy who would rather be in the waiting room until it was over. Birth really is an incredible miracle!

Tuesday night I had my Captivating study with my ladies group. We didn’t do our lesson, but caught up on each others lives instead. 😉 Have I mentioned how much I love these women??? I have got to get a picture of all of us and post it! I shared about my experiences in OK and especially about the lady who assumed I was a racist, and how offended I was for being judged by my skin color. My beautiful friend Abi just looked at me and said she was mad for me, but that was a regular part of her life. As a matter of fact, she recently blogged about it and how it effects her and her family. I hate it that it’s a normal thing to quickly pass judgment about someone with just a glance in their direction. For instance, Benny is a bit scary looking to someone who doesn’t know him and his heart. Abi and I agreed that what angers us the most is that anyone would assume they know a damn thing about us and who we are just by looking at us. Race is still an issue and we can’t pretend it isn’t. I HATE IT, but it’s true. I may not be able to change the world, but I sure can do my best to change ME and those I love…like teaching my children by example and with words. More thoughts on this later. I’m trying to post a picture of my friend Abi and her family, but Blogger is being testy with me tonight. Maybe I’ll have better luck tomorrow. Anyway…