Sometimes I Write

How often do you say those words? To whom do you say them? Is it hard to say them? Do you feel wierd when they are spoken to you? Do you say them to everyone with a flippant “Love ya” as if it’s just a goodbye? Have you ever accidentally said it to someone before hanging up the phone and then not known what to do about it? Should you apologize or joke about it? Will it make the situation more embarassing? How many diffferent tones can you have in your voice when you say it? Doesn’t it sound different when you say it to a child? To your lover? To your friend?

When you haven’t heard these words most of your life, they can be life itself. When you’ve heard them spoken frequently and without emotion, they lose a bit of their power and they become just words. Our tongues have the power to heal or destroy.

My friend Paula spoke these words to me the other day. I was speaking words of healing and encouragement to her as she so often does for me. At the end of our chat, she said, “I love you”. We are bonded as sisters in Christ and we are a blessing to each other, but I was caught off guard because I think it was the first time she had said that to me. I instinctively said it back and then felt silly. Not because I don’t love her back, but because I was repeating what she had said first. It got me thinking…

I do love Paula. I love all of my friends – fiercely and passionately – guys and girls alike. I am a loyal friend and I would do just about anything for them, but sometimes it feels wierd to say “I love you”. I know with my guy friends, I tend to speak more from my family, or Benny and I both. I’ve said, “We love you ____” so I wouldn’t make them (or me) feel wierd hearing “I love you” from a married woman. I guess that’s what is appropriate. My friend Nat and I pray together on the phone on Monday nights. We tell each other “I love you” all the time. Why does it feel wierd for one friend and not another? I don’t think it’s the length of the friendship – I have people I’ve been friends with for years that I don’t say that to. Maybe it’s the depth of the friendship. My brother Lennie and I talk several times a week and we always say “I love you” before we hang up – it’s what my family does. Benny and I never go a day without saying it to each other. We whisper it into each child’s ear as we tuck them in at night. We tell our friends we love them. Benny’s sounds more like, “Love you man”. 😉

Those are just some thoughts floating around in my head. Do I say it enough? Do I say it too much? Do the people I love know that I love them? I’ve often heard the saying, “Actions speak louder than words”, and while that’s true, when it comes to love, saying it is just as important as showing it. I think I’ll go call Paula back…