O.K. folks. Here it is. I have a million other things I want to blog about and I don’t want to turn this into “the sex blog”. Although I admit I am tempted to start a whole new blog about the subject. Christians aren’t talking about it enough and we’re all wondering how to talk about it without being “dirty”. I have tons more to say on the subject and can’t seem to get away from it since I’m surrounded with people with questions and they’re too shy or afraid of what people might think if they check out a library book or buy books on the subject. I’ll have to think about that some more…I have a hard time keeping up with the two blogs I already have! (Or so the people emailing me are saying) 😉
Sex is such a complicated and broad topic. There is so much to discuss. I’ve been discouraged that it doesn’t seem to be discussed in Christian circles much, leaving people to find information on their own – sometimes in less than honorable ways. We can learn from each other! There are great resources out there and then there are those that are a waste of time and money. Why aren’t we sharing this info. with each other and helping each other in our marriages by talking about sex that is God honoring and God-given? Life does not revolve around sex, but God did create us to bring sexual pleasure to each other in marriage. To ignore that fact is to miss out on one of the greatest gifts He has given us. I’ve been exchanging emails with someone who has asked me some tough questions and made me look deeply for the answers. You may or may not agree with my answers, but have you been honest with yourself and atleast asked the tough questions?
I’ve been promising a resource list related to the topics already discussed here. This is not an exhaustive list on all the greatest books and websites out there, and I have not personally read them all. A few friends have sent me suggestions on what to include and I trust their judgment. Any feedback to this would be great!
On the topic of Purity:
Gift-Wrapped By God By Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus
And the Bride Wore White:7 Secrets to Sexual Purity By Dannah Gresh
Kissed the Girls and Made Them Cry By Lisa Bevere
Passion & Purity by Elizabeth Eliot
Not Even a Hint: Guarding your Heart Against Lust By Joshua Harris
*Every Man’s Battle By Stephen Arterburn and Fred Stoeker
(also available for teens – Every Young Man’s Battle and for single adults- Every Single Man’s Battle)
*Every Woman’s Battle By Shannon Etheridge
(also available for teens and singles – see titles for men – you get the idea)
* I was so impressed with the honesty and integrity with which these books were written that I would recommend anything in the “Every Man/Every Woman” series. Check them out! Please! Some additional titles are: Every Man’s Marriage, Every Heart Restored, Every Soldier’s Battle, Being God’s Man In…series) I believe there are accompanying workbooks for them all. Check them out at www.newlife.com.
On Being Pro-active in Raising Healthy/Sexually Healthy kids:
Reviving Ophelia – Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls By Mary Pipher, PH.D.
Bringing Up Boys by James Dobson
There are way too many parenting books and magazines to mention here, but I do like Christian Parenting Magazine and the stuff that Heritage Builders puts out. I also like the MOMsense stuff by the MOPS group. I have a few minor issues with Focus on the Family, but I love their “Focus On Your Child” stuff. I get minizines in the mail every month. “Early Stages” – Ages 0-3, and “Discovery Years” Ages 4-7.
On Porn:
For the millionth time – check out XXXchurch! They have a ton of resources linked to their site. It’s REALLY good stuff! I recommend their FREE accountability software. My husband and I use this. This blog has raised flags the past month! 😉
Another friend mentioned “Covenant Eyes” another great accountability software…but it’s not free.
A friend of a friend spent a week or two in June blogging about his own struggle through porn. Read his posts at www.tacodave.blogspot.com You’ll have to click on his June Archives. If you thought I was honest and straight forward, wait until you read Dustin’s suff. Mad props to you Dustin!
On Sex in Marriage:
The Every Man/Woman series mentioned above is worth mentioning again!
Intimate Issues : 21 Questions Christian Women Ask About Sex By Linda Dillow & Lorraine Pintus
(This is one dynamic duo! What a great and enlightening read!!)
Intimate Allies By Allender and Longman
Mars and Venus in the Bedroom By John Gray
Intended for Pleasure By Wheat & Wheat
Marriage Partnership Magazine
My current favorite resources for women dealing with Sexual Healing:
Captivating By John & Staci Eldredge
(I’m reading this with friends right now for the 2nd time. This book is not written for finding sexual healing as much as it is healing of the heart in general. I recommend it to men as well – along with Wild At Heart by the same authors, who are also friends of a friend.)
Redeeming Love By Francine Rivers (This is fiction, but completely wonderful!!)
There you have it. I’m spent and moving on to some surface topics for awhile, like catching you up on what else is going on in my life besides sex talk. But, I have a feeling this topic will resurface again soon.
kingjaymz – I loved your comment and I printed it out with the post so I could keep it, but I had to delete it because you mentioned something that wasn’t supposed to be mentioned here just yet…remember my email? 🙂
Please keep coming back here to leave your two cents. I’m glad you’re a new blogging friend! Let us both have the courage and the wisdom to keep our discussions with everyone we meet REAL and HONEST. Thanks for your kind words J!
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I would also rec’d A MARRIAGE WITHOUT REGRETS and SEX ACCORDING TO GOD by Kay Arthur.
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Niki,
Thanks for the comment on my blog. Though I may not comment on them, I have read every single one of the sex blogs and must commend you on your skills. You put into words what so many people don’t know how to say! Thanks for that! Hope things are going well for you and hope to chat with you again soon! Andrea
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As Christians, I just don’t think we can ignore the topic any more–p*rn is too strong of a negative pull–and we cannot ignore it.
Great resource list–there are several I have not read–I will be checking the library to see if I can find them!
Thanks for all the work to pull this together–can you take a sigh of relief now??
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