It is gorgeous outside today! The temp is in the 50’s, and though the wind is blowing pretty fiercely, I’m enjoying the sunshine. It was a great morning worshipping with my church family, and Michael had asked me to do a reading with my friend Shay. I am so thankful for the opportunity to praise God in this way that was foreign to me just a few short years ago.
Benny is back from the Dry Bones retreat and happily napping with Zoe. The boys are sleeping in their rooms and I’m enjoying a little quiet time. I’m excited to talk with him later about all that was said and done this weekend, especially in regards to our plan for next Fall. I’m not worrying, really, but I am very curious to see how everything is going to unfold. We (the Staff and Board of Directors) are prayerfully seeking God’s leading. I know my heart’s desire, and God knows my heart’s desire, so I’m waiting to get a sense of what God’s heart’s desire is for our family. I would welcome everyone to join us in these prayers!
My week of nostalgia has been strange, but good. Mr. Kartman, my Science teacher, emailed me back. I was thrilled! When I told Benny that he said he remembered me being a quiet kid, Benny laughed and said he must have been remembering someone else. 😉 I told Mr. K that you never know how you are impacting a life – especially when you have hundreds of teens stream through your classroom every year. I hope I made his day with my email. It was just in time – he’s retiring this year. I can’t believe he’s been teaching for 30 years. I also emailed my friend Ryan, one of the two mentioned in the last post. I haven’t heard back from him, but I wasn’t at all surprised to find out he’s a Music & Involvement Minister in Albuquerque, NM. He was one of the few “Christian” guys that I knew at my high school, I’m sure there were probably more, but few acted like it.
Benny’s comment about Mr. K’s comment got me thinking. I’ve never considered myself a quiet person, but I guess I was in classes. I lacked the self-confidence to raise my hand very often in fear of bringing negative attention my way. That, and a fear of what a certain mystery boy would think about whatever came out of my mouth. I had embarrassed myself in front of him plenty of times since the 6th grade, and couldn’t stand the thought of it happening again.
I met mystery boy on the first day of 6th grade. We were all hearded into the school library for a welcome to middle school orientation. I had just moved back to LaCrosse so I didn’t know anyone at this new school. I picked a table and sat down, then he walked in. He sat at the table next to mine and a crush was born. I knew there was a God that day (sarcasm) because there was more than one of him – he’s an identical twin. I would quickly learn how different a set of twins could be as I fell for one and was treated badly by the other. I thought it was just junior high boy antics, but the evil twin (as I affectionately called him) made it clear he didn’t like me all the way up through high school. Lovely. Mystery boy never gave me special attention, but he was never mean to me even when his brother was, so that won him points. Boy would I like to know whatever happened to him! I can’t imagine he’s a “Chris Grandy”. LOL
What’s the point? I wasted all that time not speaking because I feared the thoughts of a boy who didn’t like me and probably didn’t care what I thought in the first place. You’ve done that too, haven’t you? You’ve cared more about what a person thought about you than what God thought about you. It’s a trap I think we’ve all fallen into. Why does it take some of us longer to find our voice than it takes others? Why does it take so much convincing that we have something to say and we have the right, privilege, and sometimes the responsibility to say it? Why can’t it just be enough that God gave us something to say, and the courage to say it comes from Him as well?
This is relevant in the blogging world too. I had a certain idea of what my blog would be about and what would be discussed here. Then I started hearing and reading about blogging etiquette (which I evidently lack), and felt the pull of other people’s styles of writing. It was like a whisper on the wind…conform…your posts are too long…you use “…” to freely…conform…never name names…be politically correct…conform…blah blah blah. I hate to say it, but the struggle to be yourself and not be everyone else does not end with high school, college, or even marriage. I’m convinced it’s a life long struggle. So I continue to come to God and ask Him who I am and what He’s giving me to say, then I ask for courage to say it. Sometimes it’s just me having to ask Him for forgiveness because I’ve said the wrong thing, or spoken for Him when I shouldn’t have. I’m working at being me, and saying what I need to say. That may or may not be relevant to your life, but I need to get it out – which is why I blog. McNair Wilson once said “If you don’t do you, then you doesn’t get done…and Creation is incomplete”. Wise words from one of the most creative and inspiring people I’ve ever met! If you’re only going to visit one website this week (other than mine ofcourse :)) let it be his blog!
So my blogging friend, the next time you start to apologize for such a long post, a boring post, a silly or extremely serious post, whatever…think about this. If you have something to say, say it. Be real. Be kind. Be yourself – long, boring, silly, or serious. Be you – nobody else can or will be.
Hey you got to me, before I left a comment for you–I TRIED to be more *real* in my blog post tonight. I do appreiciate how transparent you are!
And, I prefer a miracle to magic–but he’s getting the idea of Power, huh?
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“I wasted all that time not speaking because I feared the thoughts of a boy who didn’t like me and probably didn’t care what I thought in the first place.”
It is AMAZING how we are still doing that as adults eh?
I am Janice – i am here cause of Peach giving you the virus.
Nice to meet you,
janice
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I had a crush on a boy in sixth grade. In trying to help him with his homework to impress him (I didn’t understand that girls knowing the answers was not impressive to boys), he told me to “shut up you four-eyed freak, you look like a grasshopper”. I never spoke to him again, and once my parents let me get contacts, I never wore glasses in public again. On the light side, when I told my then-boyfriend-now-husband that story, he asked to see me in glasses. When I put them on he said, “Oh honey, anyone would like a grasshopper in those glasses.” Big boost to my self-confidence! Thanks sweetie. He’s such a charmer, that man.
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Jhart -That’s why I love Jonathan – he’s such an ego booster! LOL!
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Good post. Lots of valuable insight, as always.
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Your post reminded me of something I wrote a few years ago. Please forgive my self-indulgence. It’s a bit long. But, I thought you’d appreciate it.
A Case for Nonconformity…
“Today’s marketplace requires that we begin to think outside of the box.” These are the exact words that I heard in a recent telephone conversation with a leasing manager concerning the non-conventional use of space in the mall.
This, however, is no new observation. In fact, many are achieving great success by teaching people how to “think outside of the box.” The process is labeled with more sophisticated terminology such as: paradigm shifts or reframing our world view. Nevertheless, the same results are intended.
In short, there is a need for “Un-Doing the Culture of Conformity,” which far too often slows or hinders our progress into new frontiers. Japanese auto makers provide a classic example of why this is needed. In recent years, these massive corporations have out-done their competitors the world over, when it comes to identifying and rapidly filling new market niches. This is not only true in the marketplace; but it is a valuable principle to be applied to ones whole life.
In the event that there is a skeptic in the room who is asking, “Why should we consider this “Case for Non-Conformity?” Let me offer a couple of suggestions:
(1) Many established practices and beliefs were adopted by default by the uniformed.
Or, would it be more accurate to say, “Many established practices and beliefs were adopted by the ‘de fault’ of the uninformed.”?
I have a friend whose parents are to this day avowed atheistic communists. He was taught and for many years believed that all religious people were “mental marshmallows” who had no reasoning capacity. Christians were especially ridiculed, because, as his parents taught him, Christians believe that “the Bible is correct when it says that the earth is flat.”
When this individual reached adulthood and read the Bible for himself, he learned that this was misinformation. It was the fact that he had been given this misinformation that prompted him to begin questioning the practices and beliefs that he had been raised with. Now, this individual is a Bible-believing Christian and an exceptional salesman in a free market economy.
(2) What is hot today, will likely be cold tomorrow.
I read recently that American culture is undergoing change at a higher rate than ever previously experienced. One researcher of national renown indicates that our culture completely changes every five years. Faith communities typically require a forty year process for the adaptation of new ministry models. Most businesses that do not respond rapidly and adapt accordingly are forced to have a “Going-Out-Of-Business” sale.
Awareness of the potential pitfall of being one step behind current trends is essential. However, this alone is no assurance that the vast chasms of change will not swallow us up. What is needed is for the courageous to muster unmitigated audacity to challenge the status quo. Instead of being pulled here and there by the latest trends we need to be trend-setters. Many will be followers. Only the courageous few who are not constricted by a compulsion to conform will avoid being swept away by the avalanche of unexpected change.
So, is there a case for nonconformity? I believe the answer is yes! First, because there is the potential that the believes and practices to which we subscribe are based upon misinformation. Furthermore, if these are based upon accurate information, this truth will only become clearer under the microscope of scrutiny.
Second, I believe there is a case for nonconformity, because that which is popular today, could well be tomorrow’s “Has-Beens.” We’re not here to be pushed around by the currents. As the mountain trout faces the current for the feast which is to come, so must we be willing to swim up-stream! Remember the only fish that floats down stream is a dead fish–one that is conforming to the power of the rushing stream on its body!
Indeed, today’s marketplace as well as ones whole life, requires that we think outside of the box, which is another way of saying: Nonconformity!
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Thanks for all the thoughts new and old friends! I know there are quite a few people out there saying the same thing I am, so I appreciate you spending time reading my spin on it all!
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‘Twas not too long a blog if that’s what’s in your heart. Thanks, Niki for the links and the plug.
Thanks for being you and completing Creation!
Blog on!
McNair
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McNair left me a comment. That’s like a master teling his student “Well done grasshopper”. LOL
BW-I have to tell you, when I first saw your initials on this particular post, I almost choked. Those are the initials of Mystery Boy! haha
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The odds of me just happening upon your blog must be incredible. It’s a mystery to me how things like this just happen!
But, with a couple of clicks I was there–in all my BW-ness. God has some sense of humor, huh?
I wonder if there are any lessons to learn from this?
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Great post. And thank you for the great advice on my blog. The last one really hit home and opened my eyes to the fact that I have to think about the kids too.
You’d be proud of me today, we went straight home from class and didn’t buy ANYTHING at all, I even cooked lunch instead of eating out : )
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