Three years ago today, my beautiful little girl entered the world. Her name means “Life”. A name she lives up to very well. I’d like to tell you the choosing of her name was just that, we knew what it meant and thought it appropriate. The truth is that Max and I were naming the characters on his Sesame Street lunchbox one day and Benny heard “Zoe” and liked the sound of it. We didn’t know any Zoe’s, and we were having a hard time agreeing on a name. We decided on her name, THEN learned what it meant and were thankful! She is our spunky little princess, though she’s not Elmo’s little orange monster friend, and this is a bit of her story.
I already told you that I was shocked to find out I was pregnant with Max. What I didn’t tell you was that after he was born, the doctor told me because of how I am built on the inside, it’s hard for me to get pregnant. I figured that meant Max would be an only child until we adopted. So when I discovered I was pregnant with Zoe, I was shocked again. It began in a similar fashion – I hadn’t missed a period, but I knew something was different. Call it women’s intuition if you like. I told Benny on Superbowl Sunday that our family was growing again. I was worried, and he laughed at me. Do you notice a pattern emerging here? 🙂
It was 2002,and we were still living in Indiana. I had to endure another horribly hot and humid summer while carrying around a built-in heater in my mid-section. Praise God for air conditioning! I had very little morning sickness which went away completely when I changed my prenatal vitamin, so the pregnancy was fairly easy. From the beginning, I wondered what this baby would be. Would I have the “all-American movie family” of boy, then girl so things would be even in the household, or would I be an all boy mom? The thought of having a girl scared me, so I was kind of hoping for the boy mom bit. I had all brothers growing up and I wasn’t exactly prissy girly myself…what on earth would I do with a girl? I knew boys. I lived with them growing up, I babysat them, I dated them, and I married one. Some of my best friends in high school and college were boys. Well, I only had a few months to wonder. We went for our first ultrasound and there she was-very clearly a girl. I breathed a sigh of relief so I guess deep down I must have been excited at the prospect of having a girl.
Zoe was born one week before her due date by scheduled C-section. We knew she was going to be atleast 10 pounds and didn’t want a repeat of Max’s birth. It turned out to be the right decision because the doctor told me right after she was delivered that she would not have come out any other way. She was beautiful and round, perfect, and big…10 lbs 22 1/2 inches long. I prayed over her and promised her and God that I would be the best mommy I could be for her and that I would raise her to be a loving, compassionate, and Godly woman. Max was totally in love with her even before she was born. He would talk to my belly and kiss it, and tell her to hurry up so he could see her and hold her. He turned 3 just two weeks before she was born. Lennie and Laurie came to Indy to be with us and we had an awesome visit. Even though it was a scheduled delivery, Laurie was my post partum doula. I don’t know what I would have done without her there!
One of my favorite memories from delivery day is of Jerry Hallett. He was one of our elders from church and he loved us a lot. Twenty minutes after we arrived at the hospital, the nurses had just started prepping me and I was filling out paperwork when there was a knock at the door. It was Jerry! At 6:20 a.m.! He stayed with us and visited until it was time for me to go into surgery. When Benny and I headed to the O.R., Jerry took Laurie down to the cafeteria for breakfast. She had been there for Max’s birth, so they sort of knew each other. (Lennie was at home with Max since we had to be up so early.) Jerry headed to work as soon as he knew everything went fine with the delivery, promising to return later in the day, which he did. It meant so much to me to have him there even before Zoe was born. Maybe it was the ultimate expression of love to me because our own parents weren’t able to be there, I’m not sure, but it’s something I will never forget.
The day Zoe was born was one of the best days of my life. I would need the joy from that day to carry me through for awhile because the first few months of her life were really hard for me. When Zoe was three weeks old, Max decided he wanted to hold her, so he climbed up the side of the crib and pulled her out. Actually, he had one arm around her and the other was holding onto the crib when I saw them down the hall and screamed, “No!” I scared him so badly that he let go of her and the crib. He fell back onto the floor, and Zoe was more out of the crib than in, so she fell on him then bounced on the floor right on her head. I panicked. I had visions of a broken neck or injured back, and boy was she screaming! I called Benny at work and he rushed home so we could take her to the emergency room. Ofcourse she was fine and the nurse treated me like an overly protective mother. That was just the first in a string of events that would prove just how tough she is.
When Zoe was 6 weeks old, I found our friend and neighbor, Diana, in her home. She had committed suicide and had left ME a note on the back of a picture of my kids. It was extremely traumatic and that began a depression for me that seemed to last for months. That same week we flew to Wichita to interview for a youth ministry position. We hadn’t been looking, they found us, so we thought it might be God’s call and had to follow up on it. It was a hard weekend and ofcourse we missed the funeral. I know that was part of Diana’s plan. In January we moved to Kansas and I found myself with two small children, still trying to overcome my depression, and once again starting over. Thankfully, one of my bestfriends from college, Tawnya, lived in Wichita. There is no doubt in my mind that she was my gift from God and I knew that things were going to be o.k. We had 8 months together before she moved to Kansas City for a job. The other blessing was that Zoe was a very happy and playful baby. I loved watching Max play with her and sing to her. He is still such a great big brother to her.
When Zoe was 6 months old, I found out I was pregnant with Pete. I almost called the doctor in Indy (the one who had told me that it was hard for me to get pregnant) so I could laugh at her diagnosis. When she was just 14 months old, she became a big sister. It’s a role she loves!
When Zoe was 19 months old, she and Max traveled with Laurie back to MN for a week for a visit. We were going to pick them up the following weekend and go on to WI to see my family. We all met in Kansas City, spent the night with Tawnya, and left in the morning. We got about 2 hours south of KC when Laurie called to say they had had an accident in Missouri. Everyone was fine but they were going to the hospital anyway to get checked out. Max was bleeding from his mouth (he had bitten his tongue and lip) they were worried he may have some internal injuries, so they immobilized him on the back board and off they all went in an ambulance to the local hospital. When they got there Laurie and Max were checked out more closely because they had physical signs of injury from the accident, but Zoe didn’t have a scratch on her. A very loving and observant nurse insisted Zoe be x-rayed too because everytime she touched Zoe’s side, she flinched. A short time later Zoe was air-lifted to Children’s Mercy Hospital in K.C. with internal injuries. She had two fractured ribs and a laceration in her liver. That was the scariest phone call I have ever received in my whole life. We actually beat the helicopter to the hospital and the wait was agonizing. Meanwhile Laurie and Max were released and had to wait for us to come up there to pick them up. I did NOT want to leave Zoe’s side, but my precious son and my best friend needed me too. My 19 month old was laying in pain in a hospital bed that closely resembled a cage, and we were helpless. It was a long four days of tests and being observed by doctors to see if she would require surgery. God was there and he gave me enough peace to know that she was going to be o.k., and the nursing staff was fantastic. I believe Zoe was healed before we left the hospital. The doctor said it would take months for her little body to heal all the way, but she never complained about any pain after we got home, and I had everyone I know praying for her. I’m am thankful that today I have Max, Zoe, and Laurie, healthy and well.
Max and Zoe are the best of friends and if you saw us in a McDonald’s playland, you’d never know that they are 3 years apart in age. She’s almost as tall as he is. She is often mistaken for a five year old which can be irritating when others who make that mistake expect her to act like one. When I say she’s only 2 (well, now she’s three) I get unbelieving looks. I had always said I wouldn’t force the gender issue of pink and dolls, etc. I wanted her to be her own person and I vowed to be o.k. with it if she loved trucks and getting dirty over tea parties and dresses. God must have been chuckling at that, because He gave me both in one pretty little body! We have a picture of her on our family website that pretty well sums her up. In the picture, she’s wearing a dress and sandals with a baseball cap on backwards, holding a wooden sword in one hand while talking on the phone. LOL It is sooooo her.
Zoe loves to perform and her typical stage is our couch. She is very motherly to her babies and stuffed animals, and yet she holds her own when she’s playing rough with her brothers. Lately she’s been asking to help me clean – I hope that one sticks! 🙂 She has so much of Benny in her that it’s amazing. She even has his hazel eyes and straight hair – if he had any. 😉 I love watching the two of them together especially when they cuddle up to watch a movie. It makes me sad that I missed out on that in my own childhood, but it makes me even more glad that she has that special bond with her Popa. There’s very little he wouldn’t do for her and she knows it.
Zoe is well advanced in almost every area…except when it comes to potty training. My last few posts on SUPERMOM have been about her. I love that she’s really into princess stuff and loves to watch movies and read stories with me. She makes up her own stories too. They usually start with, “Once upon a time there was a (pause) Creature!” and she poises with her hands in the air like they are claws. I have no idea where that came from, but it makes us all laugh. She is really a funny little girl, and she has the best giggle! She has joined Max in the knock-knock joke phase, which I hope will end soon. (insert rolling eyes here) She loves to boss Petey around – probably because Max has done that to her and she figures it’s her turn. Just recently I’ve started to notice more of myself in her, and I can’t imagine what I was thinking when I was afraid to have a girl. I wouldn’t trade her for a hundred boys. She is the sunshine in my life.
We had a little birthday party for her tonight which she loved. I made her a princess cake – the kind with a barbie body sticking up from the round dress. She decorated her own mini-cake, a family tradition, with pink frosting and 2 Care Bears. I’ll post pictures soon. Benny and I made her a hot pink SuperZoe shirt complete with a silver cape. She was flying around the house in no time! Just like Max did, she told everyone she had contact with today that it was her birthday. She loved opening her gifts and it seemed every one was her favorite. When I asked her what gift she liked best, she said, ” When I was opening all of my presents”. I showed her the front of the shirt we had made and asked her what it said and she replied, “Z-O-E, that spells me!”
Zoe is beautiful, funny, loving, and definitely full of life! What a blessing!
I just think you might be crazy about that 3 year old!
I praise God for the blessing of your children! Each one is a miracle!
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Happy Birthday Zoe!
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