Sandy posted on her blog today about a bear she bought with her own money at age 11. She had to save and save for it, which she did. You can read her story on her blog.
It got me to thinking about what I saved and saved my own money for. Benny will yawn and roll his eyes at this point because he’s heard the story more than a few times: Michael Jackson’s THRILLER album. Yes, I said ALBUM, as in big enough to serve a turkey on. I loved that record so much and played it over and over again. My how our tastes change. LOL
Sandy also made a good point about wanting to have her kids experience the satisfaction that comes from saving up for and finally getting your heart’s desire. I think if you learn this lesson while you’re young, it helps you put things into perspective a little better when you do it as an adult. It’s called Delayed Gratification, and it’s something we’re talking about in our Financial Peace University class. Americans especially have a problem with delayed gratification – we want it when we want it, not tomorrow or next year. In our world of credit and 90 days-same-as-cash, most people don’t know how to save anymore. I am just as guilty. It took us years to pay off a credit card because of our problem with delayed gratification. It was a hard lesson to learn. We’re still learning it! If I want something I have to earn it, or save for it…When I do, the object means a whole lot more to me than if I had just charged it or bought it on a whim.
It drove me nuts in college when a girl in my dorm received a check from daddy every week. If he was late sending it, she called him and pitched a fit. She was accustomed to living that way and felt she “deserved” what he sent her every week. Part of my anger was jealousy ofcourse…I didn’t have anyone sending me money for anything and I waitressed at Pizza Hut so I could buy books and supplies, clothes, do laundry, etc. My view of parents paying for their children’s college education is skewed by this. Maybe it was just the people I knew, but those of us who went to college on scholarships, grants, and the sweat of our own brows seemed to skip class less, party less, and appreciate our learning a bit more than those whose parents forked over all the money for everything their child needed.
If you’re one of those parents, I don’t mean to offend you, I just wanted to make a point about the value of saving and earning and the satisfaction that can come from it. We want our children to learn the same lesson Sandy was talking about, and they are. Max earned money by doing odd jobs for us and he saved it for a month and a half so he could buy a Spiderman mask and glove set he really wanted. Everytime we went to Walmart he would wander down that aisle to look at them and dream about the day he would be wearing them himself. We aren’t scrooges, we do buy our kids stuff, but we’re also trying to teach them about earning and saving. When it comes to STUFF, delayed gratification won’t kill a child.
As for college, we’re helping our kids save for it – if that’s what they choose to do after high school. We want them to have enough saved that they can head straight to college, or travel the world, or whatever God would have them do…anything but buy a Michael Jackson album! 😉
Niki,
You’re such a great mom. I draw so much knowledge from you on the way I want to raise my future children. In my line of work I see kids who have to work for what they have and kids who are given all their little heart desires. The difference is quite evident. How smart you are to take the more difficult, yet more responsible route with your kids. One of the many reasons I’m proud to call you friend.
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there was a random mix of somewhat conflicting money messages in my family as i was growing up. i learned some very bad habits that i am now working very consciously to reshape in regard to financial responsibility and stewardship. i’m so glad to know you and benny are making a firm (and correct, i believe) statement with your children about how to do it right from the get-go. gold star for you!
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I love the way you think Niki.
The rule in our house is if it’s not budget for, we don’t buy it. If it’s something we really want, we then set aside money every month till we can buy it without going into debt. It’s amazing how many times we decide not to get something a few minutes later because the “want” is no longer there.
Keep up the good posting!
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I don’t think delayed gratification is at all a bad thing. Just like you said, we just aren’t used to it.
We’ve talked about this. I’m so used to my parents giving me everything I ever needed and sometimes what I just thought I absolutely had to have that it took me a while to realize the value of saving my money. I think I’m doing better, although sometimes I go back to seeing something and just want it so bad…but I have to remember that I don’t need that as much as I need my apartment in Nashville or whatever!
I think it’s good that you have your kids save money. I do that with conner…he can earn change and once he gets $1 I take him to the dollar store to pick out a toy. His mom has started doing that too…
Anyways…love you girl and talk to you later!
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We just never bought our kids too much *stuff*–how much do they really need? Like you (and Sandy), I think they need something to look forward to–and they can’t if they already have it all.
We are helping with college–but they do have to help, too. (We don’t get calls about checks that didn’t arrive–because we don’t send any checks to them–we do send a few to their schools!)
JB
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