Sometimes I Write

Due to me finally finishing CAPTIVATING by John & Staci Eldredge, I’ve had a lot on my mind this week. The funny thing is that I haven’t had much time to think about anything else but my responsibilities, and camp related issues. So, my brain is FULL!

What an amazing book! I could spend days blogging about what I’ve read and learned, but then you might not have a reason to pick up the book and read it for yourself. So I’ll try not to ramble on and on. I must admit I dragged my feet and had a hard time getting into the book at first. But once I made up my mind to read it, I couldn’t put it down. I discovered some things about myself that suprised me. There were old wounds inside me that I never knew about or acknowledged were there. Wounds that are so ingrained in my heart, that it hurt to have them brought to the surface. I know it had to happen so Jesus could meet me there and heal me, but it’s been hard. I loved that message from the book. Jesus wants us to let him into those dark places inside that we try not to think about, or the insecure feelings we struggle with. He asks us, “Will you let me heal you here?” Incredible! The God who created the universe cares about the hurts and wounds and messages of my childhood. He cares about the voice inside that whispers my faults and my blessings. He wants me (and you) to know that I am beautiful because I am His. I am worth fighting for. I am a warrior princess – part of a great battle that is taking place not just in the heavenly realms, but right here in my own backyard. He wants to give me my heart back!

Over the next few posts, as part of my own healing process I’m going to share a few of my wounds and how Jesus is bringing healing to me. I don’t mind getting personal and I know my boundaries, so it shouldn’t be too scary. 🙂 One of my y.m. friends was making fun of blogging because people air their dirty laundry on the world wide web. When he made that comment I felt like he was saying it was Jerry Springer for computer geeks. Because he’s my friend I refrained from knocking him off his Denny’s chair. 🙂 I don’t assume that everyone that stops by here shares my faith, but my hope is that if I share it in this way, someone will be touched by it and encouraged. So _______ can have his opinion and he’ll still be my brother.

Camp is officially over. The last day is so hard for me. I hate saying goodbye and you never know which of your friends you’ll never see again. Job changes, church changes, scheduling conflicts, even death interferes with my plans for everyone to be back the next summer. My regrets this year? I didn’t take enough pictures to capture the moments. It was a great week though, and we had a wonderful staff. Have I mentioned how much I love this camp? 250 times? o.k. then…

I love watching Benny with the campers. Sometimes I wonder how his chest contains his heart because it is so big. At lunch he mentioned that out of all the kids that hugged him today, most of them were not the “popular crowd”, but the kids that really identified with his message, which ofcourse was the heart of Dry Bones. Come alongside people, build relationships, then through those relationships others get to see Christ in Action. He’s amazing. He wore black all week and his bald head and long goatee generally make him look like a biker dude, but the love he has for these kids and for our y.m. friends just flows out of him with everything that he is. And he’s my husband. I’m a blessed woman indeed.

One of the things I enjoy every year is meeting the new youth ministers. Alot of the time they are counselors from previous years when they were interns. Adam, Chris, Jarred, Robert, and Brock all started out here that way. It’s awesome to see how God has changed and grown them over the years and to see them make that transition from inexperienced counselor to confident men displaying their leadership skills as youth minsters at their churches. I’m like a proud mother though I view them as friends and brothers – not children! They are changing lives as only they can. God bless them all!

Please pray for Chris and Adam. They both injured their ankles playing basketball yesterday. Adam went to the emergency room – he has a fracture in his foot and will be on crutches for a bit…his body is having a rough summer! (read his blog) Chris has some swelling and pain, but didn’t break anything – praise God. I’m glad their injuries weren’t worse.

We’ll be home in a few days. We miss our kids and can’t wait to pick them up from grandma and grandpa’s house. Oh, and Cassandra, one of our teens from Wichita is coming back to Colorado with us for a week. I’m excited about that too. Have a great weekend!