Sometimes I Write

We got in touch with an old youth ministry friend this week. He was excited we had moved to town and asked where we live. When Benny told him, he said something like, “Man, I thought you were coming to do ministry…why are you living up there with all of the white people?” Benny told him that we don’t, we’re among the minority in our neighborhood. I know our friend was just teasing, but the more I’ve thought about his comment, the more disturbed I’ve gotten. (I’m probably taking this way too seriously.)

Denver, or atleast the area we live in, is predominantly Hispanic. I’m not sure why I never knew this, and not that it really matters to me. My sister-in-law is Hispanic and grew up here. I’ve heard her talk about Denver a lot and still this small fact eluded me. I have never been in the minority before and it is a strange, new experience. It reminds me of a conversation I once had with my friend Toine, my African American sister. She and I talked about what it’s like to be one of a few blacks in a predominantly white church. It also reminds me of our conversation with Max when we told him I was pregnant. We asked him what kind of baby he wanted us to have. We meant boy or girl, so we were shocked and laughed when he thought a minute and announced, “A black baby”.

The whole issue of race seems to be coming at me from several sources at once and I’m not sure why. It’s never been a big deal to me…Toine said that’s because I’m white. I’ve always had friends of different races and cultures and I’ve never had issues regarding that. I’m as white as they come, but I rest in the fact that God doesn’t care what color my skin is, yours either. It is strange that the race struggle is still around. I don’t get it, and I don’t like it. After Max’s announcement, we decided to buy him a black baby doll so we could begin teaching him how to care for his baby sister when she arrived (2 birds with 1 stone). I had a really hard time finding any baby dolls of color in the Indianapolis area. I asked a salesperson where I might find one, and she told me I’d have to drive to a certain section of Indy to find anything like that. I was shocked not by what she said, but by HOW she said it.

We get mixed reactions from people when we tell them we want to adopt from overseas. I’ve received much encouragement about it, but I’ve also received harsh criticism about it also. I’ve heard very loving Christian women I know tell me they thought it was a bad idea because my child would be an outsider in our family if their skin was a different color, and that it wouldn’t’ t be fair of me to remove a child from their culture and force them to be raised in a new one. One told me there are plenty of children right here in the U.S. that need adopting if my heart is set on adoption. Some people just don’t know when to shut up. We have thought it through and believe God has that in store for our future, and we are raising our children to know that it’s coming someday.

When we joined Compassion International, Max was so excited about Sabrina, our little girl from Brazil. He kept asking when we were going to get her and bring her home. He was very disappointed when we explained that even though she’s a part of our family now, she has a mommy and daddy already, and maybe someday we would visit her home, but we couldn’t bring her to live with us.

Back to our friend here in Denver. I was frustrated for a few reasons. 1. We live in a mobile home in a park, not a gated community. 2. We’re here to do ministry with anyone God places in our path, black, brown, white, or any other color. 3. The whole subject of race is frustrating to me on so many levels. I hope my Hispanic neighbors give me a chance and don’t just see me as a white girl in the neighborhood. I am raising my children to see people’s hearts and not the color of their skin. I’m thankful God is a God of variety and not everyone is as pasty as me. 🙂