Sometimes I Write

In our Sunday morning bible class we’re discussing the book Improving Your Serve by Chuck Swindoll. Sometimes I’m guilty of doing the things I get irritated with others for doing, like not being prepared by reading the assigned chapter for the week. As a class teacher it’s annoying to know I worked hard to prepare for discussion and then when class starts discovering I was the only one prepared, or maybe one of a few out of a dozen or more people. It’s only one chapter! If you spend 15 minutes a day on your hair and make-up, you can spend 15 minutes a day reading! While I kick my soapbox back into the closet, let me confess that today I’m the guilty party. Oops! (-sigh-) The discussion was good anyway, and I like it when Troy teaches. He always puts a refreshing spin on things. He talked about having a template of servanthood to compare ourselves to and that it’s a lot easier to hold someone else up against that template to see how they fit, rather than the difficult task of comparing ourselves to see how we measure up. We talked about the beatitudes being that template. We discussed the examples of servants that we know and everyone seemed to agree it’s those people that serve quietly, not seeking recognition for their service, that we admire the most. It’s important to remember that we still shouldn’t use those people as our template to compare ourselves to…they are not perfect. There is only one template that is appropriate.

Who are the servants in your life? Who are the people that come to mind first? The first one I thought of was Karen Roehrman. When I mentioned her name in class, everyone nodded in agreement. She is a wonderful lady from church. Almost every week she cuts out a parenting advice column and a funny comic(usually Baby Blues) and mails them to me with a little note. She volunteers for clean-up after our Wednesday night meals. She takes her elderly aunt out to run errands every week. She remembers people’s birthdays and anniversaries with just the right card. She sends notes of encouragement and love to the sick and shut-ins, and those who are struggling. She takes meals to Bobby (one of our shut-ins) on a regular basis. When I was teaching the ladie’s class on Wednesday nights she was right there sitting near me offering her support and two cents on the current lesson. I think she and I were the only ones who were consistently prepared! She’s funny, witty, creative, and wise. She’s one of my Titus 2 women. So I ask you again, who are the Karen’s in your life? Thank them and appreciate them for the example they set, but don’t let them be THE ONLY example you follow.

As I pull my soapbox back out, let me just say that I know that none of us measure up to THE perfect example. I have been a bit distressed this week by a few christian leaders that I have heard, or read, that are of the opinion that we are aiming too high and we need not be too hard on ourselves when we don’t measure up. One in particular was talking about parenting and the myths of the perfect mother. She advised (in a popular christian parenting magazine) that we not let the Christian culture push us toward parenting that doesn’t feel right. She said that the Bible doesn’t tell us how to parent…that there is more than one way. She said we need to be careful not to prescribe our way of parenting to others when God may have a different plan for them. Her intent was to give overworked and underappreciated moms everywhere a break and tell them to give themselves a break. I’m sure she was thinking about extreme situations since she cited the Andrea Yates case, the mentally-ill mom that killed her 5 children in 2001. Moms are too hard on themselves, but I think there is definitely a clear standard and while I agree that our Christian culture doesn’t set it, neither should the world. I felt she took a very worldy view and made it sound biblical. I know God has a plan for all of his children, but I tend to think there ARE certain ways to parent. I’m not referring to the issues like spanking vs. time out, homeschooling vs. public school, working vs. stay-at-home, etc. While trying to bring hope and comfort to a reading mom who may be struggling with not measuring up, I think she took the focus off of who and what our parenting example is to be. Her problem was with Christians who go around telling other people how they need to live and she said we need to trust our God-given instincts and trust that God is bigger than one method of raising children, even when that method’s framed in Christian ideology. I say how should we choose our parenting style if not by looking at how God parented, or Paul “parented” his converts, or any number of other parenting examples given to us in scripture?

Maybe my feathers are ruffled because I think a little positive peer pressure is a good thing and if we’re not trying to live up to a higher standard we’ll aim too low and stay where we’re comfortable instead of where we need to be. This author said it isn’t about how our kids turn out, it’s about being open to God. Aren’t we responsible for how our kids turn out(to a point)? I’d love to chat with this lady so I can understand where she’s coming from a little better. I don’t know how clear my thoughts are, but I had to get them out. I’m disappointed that I’m reading an influential christian woman take a worldy stance on parenting and mix it with christian phraseology. She did have some very valid points about our expectations, and I agreed with a lot of what she had to say, but she lost me when she took a stance against the Christian community as a whole, and gave what I think are excuses for parenting mediocrity. Maybe I’m being too harsh. Maybe I’m misunderstanding what she is trying to say. Maybe I’m right on and need to stand my ground. I’ll have to think about this some more…