Sometimes I Write

Tonight I had the privilege of attending a choir concert. My alma mater (York College) choir came through town and performed at our church. What a blessing! I got to visit with the director Dr. Roush and his wife Sue over dinner in our fellowship hall. I found that it’s so hard to catch up on life in such a small window of time, but I enjoyed the conversation. The memories that flooded my mind were overwhelming.

It is the choir’s tradition that all choir alumni come up and sing the last two songs with the group. Lord, Make Me Thine Instrument, and The Lord Bless you and Keep You (with the full chorus) I knew it was coming and my heart pounded with anticipation. Music has been such a HUGE part of my life, and I’ve really missed being a member of an organized singing group.

As a child, I felt that my voice was the ONLY thing I had going for me. I was a poor kid that didn’t have the newest clothes and toys. I was a teacher’s pet and I had a soft spot for the underdog. None of these things made me very popular. But when I sang, people listened. I was lucky enough to get many of the solos available in choirs and musicals, and I felt I had finally found my niche. I basked in the compliments I received and I was so thankful God gave me one talent. 🙂 To this day I remember every word of the first solo I ever sang…In kindergarten!

I went to York with a music scholarship, and big performance dreams. But, when I started taking my required music courses, I struggled so much that the joy was gone. I decided I’d rather not know the ins and outs of the technical stuff and continue loving music, than for it to be such hard work and risk losing the thing I loved most. I tearfully (and fearfully) went to Dr. Roush to discuss my situation. He worked it out for me to be involved in the right things to keep my scholarship, and he encouraged me to keep using my voice. I stayed in private voice and piano, and participated in chamber singers, women’s ensemble, and Gospel Messengers, a traveling octet group, (THE one to be in). Being part of his choir gave me a place to ground myself during some very hard years of my life. He was my professor, my advisor, and eventually my friend. He gave me learning and leadership opportunities that changed my life. We have had our ups and downs, but I’m thankful for the lessons learned under his guidance. That is why I enjoyed tonight so much. It ‘s really neat to watch him direct and see how he has and hasn’t changed over the years. Singing as an alumnus is such a gift. It reminds me that I am part of something bigger. All of my life experiences come together to make up who I am, and music is still one of the sunniest parts of me.

Now that I’m feeling all nostalgic, I want to share my favorite choir tour memory with you. I wish I could remember every detail of that night, but I can’t. It was my freshmen year, and we were on our winter break tour. I don’t remember where we were, maybe it was St.Louis. Several of the choir members had been feeling under the weather and we were all tired from the traveling. Dr. Roush gave us the usual pep talk about why we were doing what we were doing and we could push through the tiredness and do our best for the people that were coming to hear us sing. One of our favorite songs was, “Let Thy Holy Spirit Come Upon Us”, and that night He did!!! The piece started as usual but a few phrases into it I started feeling strange. It was like an energy was flowing through me and into the girl next to me. We both gave each other a quick glance, so I knew she felt it too. As we sang, a warmth enveloped us – ALL of us. Our rule is to look only at the director, but I couldn’t help myself and I had to look around to make sure I wasn’t imagining this . It was apparent on everyone else’s faces that the whole choir was feeling something. We kept singing and I almost felt like I was floating. It was like wave after wave of warmth and love swept through, over and around us. Many of us girls and some of the guys were overwhelmed and weeping as we sang…including Dr. Roush. The song had become a prayer, and God was answering us! With all of the emotion on those risers, the audience must have thought we were nuts. It took Dr. Roush a few minutes to be able to speak after the song ended. If you know him, that never happens! 🙂 I had never experienced the Holy Spirit in that manner before. It was amazing, glorious,wonderful, and many other words I can’t even think of right now. I still listen to my tape of that song occasionally, and I remember that night and thank God for binding us together as only He can.