Sometimes I Write

I will eat chocolate at least once a week.

I will buy expensive, frou-frou coffee drinks whenever the mood strikes.

I will let junk mail pile up perilously high.

I will snack after 6 p.m.

I will only clean when company’s coming.

This is NOT my list. This was taken straight from Laugh with Laura Cornell in Today’s Christian Woman. I do not make New Year’s resolutions because I know that I will never keep them and statistically speaking neither will 79% of America. (o.k….I made that statistic up)

Ten years ago my resolution was to lose weight. I actually did it about six years ago, then I started having babies. On this day last year I was released from the hospital along with my adorable newborn son. I resolved to be just as organized and energetic as before his birth. If you’ve been reading my blog, you’ll know how ridiculous I feel now about making that resolution. I thought if I wrote them down on paper or even told someone else about them, it would help hold me accountable and spur me on to accomplishing them, right? WRONG! When I did eventually give up on my perfectionist self, I felt like a failure. Laurie tells me all the time that I’m too hard on myself, and she’s right. Nope. No resolutions for me. (Unless they are the ones at the top of this blog) 🙂

I will share with you what I would like for 2005.

I would like to be the woman God made me to be, boldly and without shame. I would like to give the people I struggle to love the benefit of the doubt and not to be so defensive when I feel like they’re attacking me. I would like to look myself in the mirror when I wake up in the morning and see my Holy Father looking back at me. I would like to deeply touch the life of at least one teenage girl who desperately needs someone to listen and to care for her needs. I would like to enjoy a worship service…Not just go through the motions, but experience it with everything I am and everything God put in me, and to leave that service feeling refreshed and renewed. I would like our family to cuddle in our king size every morning before we begin our day. I would like to make our home a place of rest and refuge. I would like to travel to see my friends Jennifer and Michelle in Georgia. I would like the confidence it takes to be successful in my business and to see it grow to contribute to our financial stability. I would like to continue to share my heart through my blog. I would like to teach Max how to read and tie his own shoes. I would like to perform songs with Zoe on her stage (the couch) and get her potty trained. I would like to teach Pete how to use silverware. I would like to have weekly date nights with Benny, even if it means we just sit and talk over a hot cup of chai. I would like to write a book. I would like to get my cape back from the cleaners…I’m going to need it while I’m working on all of these things! 🙂

I would like to end by reminding you, and myself, that God is awesome and amazing. He holds my hand as I walk through the valleys of life. He’s the first one applauding when I choose integrity over temptation. He hears my arrow prayers that I often shoot upward, and he listens when I’m long-winded. He knew me before I even existed and he is patient with me when I’m too sensitive or too thick-headed. He’s preparing me to do the works He’s had planned for me to do for Him all along. He loves me fat or thin, tired or hyper, lost or found, forever and ever. There is one thing I know for sure…

2005 will NOT be normal or boring! Bring it on!